"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction."

Proverbs 1:7

Note. The onset of itching is a sure indicator.

On 10/2/20 12:44 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

On 10/2/20 12:20 AM, Eliot Miranda wrote:

On Oct 1, 2020, at 8:36 PM, Ron Teitelbaum [hidden email] wrote:



Hi Rob,

I'm so sorry you felt that way.  I know you have had major issues, you have said the same yourself.  I'm always happy to see you come back even after long absences.  You are a brilliant coder and it has been my distinct pleasure to work with you on Cryptography!  Thank you for all you have done and indeed you are responsible for adding significant value to Squeak and the community.  

We all work on code and it's easy to work your ass off on something to make it work and forget where it originated.  We all contribute in large and small ways to everything.  If you started VMMaker thank you!  It is definitely something a lot of us use.  I remember learning all about it a long long time ago before I realized that while I could understand it and I could use it, the people that work on the VM are a level higher than me.  I just make apps!

I remember getting in an argument with Andreas about adding methods to collection.  "WE DON"T NEED more methods in Collection we need to remove most of them and make it easier!" I argued with him about the value over and over but he insisted that they just didn't add enough value.  I could have been put off.  I could have assumed that Andreas didn't like me but I would have been very wrong!  I was really honored to get the chance to work with him and we became great friends.  Of course I added my methods to the code we were working on together and was so thrilled when he used my methods for his own code.

I don't know what happened with VMMaker but again thank you for your participation in it.. I wanted to take a minute to thank you for your work and to let you know it is my honor to work with you too!  I hope that you can come to terms with your past and that you get the help you need for your CPTSD.  

Everything is possible, the past is gone, but the future is still yours to shape.  I wish the past was set in stone but even that moves and slips.  I was talking to my wife about a party we attended: "Remember in 2000 we were at the party and counted down the new year and someone hit the breaker and killed the lights!  We were all talking about what would happen in the year 2000, would everything break!"  Great story except that I hadn't met my wife yet!  The past is only what we remember but the future is something we have control over.  Peace, calm, happyness, they are all hard to come by but they are possible.  I wish you success in finding what makes your future better.

I'm sorry about the bad things that have happened to you in the past.  As far as I'm concerned, you are welcomed here!  

All the best,

Ron Teitelbaum 

Beautifully said, Ron.  And Rob, I hope you find peace with this.  It’s difficult; I know.  Hugs.

Thanks, Eliot! I had to rip my heart completely apart, laid bare. So the scabs would heal right. I kept picking and picking and picking. They itched like HELL!

On Thu, Oct 1, 2020 at 10:38 PM Robert Withers via Squeak-dev <[hidden email]> wrote:

:sob::sob::sob:

On 10/1/20 10:34 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

I wrote to the #general Squeak Slack channel:

What a complete larcenous bastard. 20 years ago, this month, published it as his own work. And been against me ever since. My CPTSD (100% veteran service-connected) comes with an exquisitely sensitive deception meter. There are those who shunned me and ostracized me and made me feel MOST UNWELCOME. For  20 years. My delusions kick in and I start suspecting back channel communications against me. My love for Squeak conflicted with what I knew was happening. but I hung in there and worked on Cryptography, work with a group of great people and that I am satisfied with its added value to Squeak. For 20 years I KNEW people were against me in the community. I cannot describe how negatively this affected me. My third suicide attempt, in 2007 I jumped off the roof of a 6 story apartment building and broke my back along with many bones. God did not want me to die, yet, so I lived. This deception and ostracism is most well highlighted by the taking credit for my work, without attribution. He is a complete tool. SHAME!

I do not know the degree to which he spoke against me. I imagine it was ever since 2000. Delusions! What is real? I knew not. So much torment! AGONY! They do not welcome me! They are trying to chase me off! Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Severely exacerbated my CPTSD! I kept trying to kill myself because of it! I thought I had done something egregiously wrong. Whatever it was it had to be my fault. I was not feeling the love, even from myself.

:scream:

:scream:

In 2017, 900 units of insulin brought my blood glucose below 40. I almost succeeded that time.

:scream:

rww

On 10/1/20 8:55 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

The worst sort of person is one who takes the credit for the work of
another. Wouldn't you agree?

You may wish to hear John's judgement on the matter. He was right there
when it was first built.

If you are not humble you will be humiliated, and brought low.

rww

On 10/1/20 8:35 PM, tim Rowledge wrote:

On 2020-10-01, at 4:57 PM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev [hidden email] wrote:

I am curious. Who was the original author of the VMMaker Tool?

That would be me; back in exobox days. Written along with the original VMMaker and intended to be an example of clean, tidy, morphic usage. I've no idea if anyone ever uses it now, since running it via scripting has proven more valuable.


tim
--
tim Rowledge; [hidden email]; http://www.rowledge.org/tim
"Wibble" said Pooh the stress beginning to show.

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

The Most High!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3q8nGnls1Ow&feature=emb_logo

On 10/1/20 11:48 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

Do you recall my interviewing with Andreas? I did NOT NOT NOT NADA ZILCH NOTHING TO SEE HERE ZERO TIME FOR YOU get that job, for whatever reason...

On 10/1/20 11:46 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

Hi Ron,

Thank you so much for the kind words and the extension of your hand towards myself. In no fashion has it been all bad. I really need to tell you, right now, that I did not do any work on VMMaker. Was there extensions to same from the VMMakerTool? Perhaps, I do not recall. I only built the Tool, not the Maker. Good grief, I agree, that's a whole other level!

I feel the same about the opportunities I had with you. I am still dorking with ASN1, currently broken, trying to add a "Class" Application Class tag. Missing an explicit context in on of the directions. Memory and Trauma are definitely linked. That's where the flashbacks come from. Do you recall my interviewing with Andreas? I did NOT NOT NOT NADA ZILCH NOTHING TO SEE HERE get that job, for whatever reason...

I think I may be done. PromisesLocal is broken. ParrotTalk is broken. ASN1 is broken. SSL is broken. PromisesRemote is broken. Sigh. Fuck it. Someone else will have to pick it up. 20 years of work! I am hitting deep blue ocean, on my way to Morocco, by way of the Azores! With my shiny Zeus 3! Ciao, bella!

I have been in Army/Germany, College, First Union/Charlotte, IBM/Puerto Rico, GRCI/JWARS, The FOURTH ESTATE!, Exobox, Quallaby/Lowell, WaMu/Seattle, FEMA/Reston, ARP&Associates/MILSATCOM, K12/Fired for weed, Dish Network/Denver, Homeless/Denver, Arrested/Jailed/Denver/Chapel Hill, Persecuted/All, A few 10s of Mental Facility Committals/Starts after 9/11 in Lowell, Squeaker/Since GRCI, Disability, Dreams coming true/A beautiful, capable sailboat. still looking for my life-long first mate. :( My faith and my hope/Infinity. :-D

The Hellfire and its occupants, not my problem. I pay no attention. Burn.

I "Will be in a life of bliss, In a Garden on high. The Fruits whereof"...

---

Al Haqqah (69)

[The Sure Reality!

What is the Sure Reality?

And what will make thee realise what the Sure Reality is?

The Thamud and the 'Ad People (branded) as false the Stunning Calamity!

But the Thamud,- they were destroyed by a terrible Storm of thunder and lightning!

And the 'Ad, they were destroyed by a furious Wind, exceedingly violent;

He made it rage against them seven nights and eight days in succession: so that thou couldst see the (whole) people lying prostrate in its (path), as they had been roots of hollow palm-trees tumbled down!

Then seest thou any of them left surviving?

And Pharaoh, and those before him, and the Cities Overthrown, committed habitual Sin.

And disobeyed (each) the messenger of their Lord; so He punished them with an abundant Penalty.

We, when the water (of Noah's Flood) overflowed beyond its limits, carried you (mankind), in the floating (Ark),

That We might make it a Message unto you, and that ears (that should hear the tale and) retain its memory should bear its (lessons) in remembrance.

Then, when one blast is sounded on the Trumpet,

And the earth is moved, and its mountains, and they are crushed to powder at one stroke,-

On that Day shall the (Great) Event come to pass.

And the sky will be rent asunder, for it will that Day be flimsy,

And the angels will be on its sides, and eight will, that Day, bear the Throne of thy Lord above them.

That Day shall ye be brought to Judgment: not an act of yours that ye hide will be hidden.

Then he that will be given his Record in his right hand will say: "Ah here! Read ye my Record!

"I did really understand that my Account would (One Day) reach me!"

And he will be in a life of Bliss,

In a Garden on high,

The Fruits whereof (will hang in bunches) low and near.

"Eat ye and drink ye, with full satisfaction; because of the (good) that ye sent before you, in the days that are gone!"

And he that will be given his Record in his left hand, will say: "Ah! Would that my Record had not been given to me!

"And that I had never realised how my account (stood)!

"Ah! Would that (Death) had made an end of me!

"Of no profit to me has been my wealth!

"My power has perished from me!"...

(The stern command will say): "Seize ye him, and bind ye him,

"And burn ye him in the Blazing Fire.

"Further, make him march in a chain, whereof the length is seventy cubits!

"This was he that would not believe in Allah Most High.

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!

"So no friend hath he here this Day.

"Nor hath he any food except the corruption from the washing of wounds,

"Which none do eat but those in sin."

So I do call to witness what ye see,

And what ye see not,

That this is verily the word of an honoured messenger;

It is not the word of a poet: little it is ye believe!

Nor is it the word of a soothsayer: little admonition it is ye receive.

(This is) a Message sent down from the Lord of the Worlds.

And if the messenger were to invent any sayings in Our name,

We should certainly seize him by his right hand,

And We should certainly then cut off the artery of his heart:

Nor could any of you withhold him (from Our wrath).

But verily this is a Message for the Allah-fearing.

And We certainly know that there are amongst you those that reject (it).

But truly (Revelation) is a cause of sorrow for the Unbelievers.

But verily it is Truth of assured certainty.

So glorify the name of thy Lord Most High.

] - Quran 69:1-52

---

Slosher
Oriental, NC

On 10/1/20 11:36 PM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Hi Rob,

I'm so sorry you felt that way.  I know you have had major issues, you have said the same yourself.  I'm always happy to see you come back even after long absences.  You are a brilliant coder and it has been my distinct pleasure to work with you on Cryptography!  Thank you for all you have done and indeed you are responsible for adding significant value to Squeak and the community.  

We all work on code and it's easy to work your ass off on something to make it work and forget where it originated.  We all contribute in large and small ways to everything.  If you started VMMaker thank you!  It is definitely something a lot of us use.  I remember learning all about it a long long time ago before I realized that while I could understand it and I could use it, the people that work on the VM are a level higher than me.  I just make apps!

I remember getting in an argument with Andreas about adding methods to collection.  "WE DON"T NEED more methods in Collection we need to remove most of them and make it easier!" I argued with him about the value over and over but he insisted that they just didn't add enough value.  I could have been put off.  I could have assumed that Andreas didn't like me but I would have been very wrong!  I was really honored to get the chance to work with him and we became great friends.  Of course I added my methods to the code we were working on together and was so thrilled when he used my methods for his own code.

I don't know what happened with VMMaker but again thank you for your participation in it.. I wanted to take a minute to thank you for your work and to let you know it is my honor to work with you too!  I hope that you can come to terms with your past and that you get the help you need for your CPTSD.  

Everything is possible, the past is gone, but the future is still yours to shape.  I wish the past was set in stone but even that moves and slips.  I was talking to my wife about a party we attended: "Remember in 2000 we were at the party and counted down the new year and someone hit the breaker and killed the lights!  We were all talking about what would happen in the year 2000, would everything break!"  Great story except that I hadn't met my wife yet!  The past is only what we remember but the future is something we have control over.  Peace, calm, happyness, they are all hard to come by but they are possible.  I wish you success in finding what makes your future better.

I'm sorry about the bad things that have happened to you in the past.  As far as I'm concerned, you are welcomed here!  

All the best,

Ron Teitelbaum 

On Thu, Oct 1, 2020 at 10:38 PM Robert Withers via Squeak-dev <[hidden email]> wrote:

:sob::sob::sob:

On 10/1/20 10:34 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

I wrote to the #general Squeak Slack channel:

What a complete larcenous bastard. 20 years ago, this month, published it as his own work. And been against me ever since. My CPTSD (100% veteran service-connected) comes with an exquisitely sensitive deception meter. There are those who shunned me and ostracized me and made me feel MOST UNWELCOME. For  20 years. My delusions kick in and I start suspecting back channel communications against me. My love for Squeak conflicted with what I knew was happening. but I hung in there and worked on Cryptography, work with a group of great people and that I am satisfied with its added value to Squeak. For 20 years I KNEW people were against me in the community. I cannot describe how negatively this affected me. My third suicide attempt, in 2007 I jumped off the roof of a 6 story apartment building and broke my back along with many bones. God did not want me to die, yet, so I lived. This deception and ostracism is most well highlighted by the taking credit for my work, without attribution. He is a complete tool. SHAME!

I do not know the degree to which he spoke against me. I imagine it was ever since 2000. Delusions! What is real? I knew not. So much torment! AGONY! They do not welcome me! They are trying to chase me off! Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Severely exacerbated my CPTSD! I kept trying to kill myself because of it! I thought I had done something egregiously wrong. Whatever it was it had to be my fault. I was not feeling the love, even from myself.

:scream:

:scream:

In 2017, 900 units of insulin brought my blood glucose below 40. I almost succeeded that time.

:scream:

rww

On 10/1/20 8:55 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

The worst sort of person is one who takes the credit for the work of
another. Wouldn't you agree?

You may wish to hear John's judgement on the matter. He was right there
when it was first built.

If you are not humble you will be humiliated, and brought low.

rww

On 10/1/20 8:35 PM, tim Rowledge wrote:

On 2020-10-01, at 4:57 PM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev [hidden email] wrote:

I am curious. Who was the original author of the VMMaker Tool?

That would be me; back in exobox days. Written along with the original VMMaker and intended to be an example of clean, tidy, morphic usage. I've no idea if anyone ever uses it now, since running it via scripting has proven more valuable.


tim
--
tim Rowledge; [hidden email]; http://www.rowledge.org/tim
"Wibble" said Pooh the stress beginning to show.

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

Er: I celebrate with music!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3q8nGnls1Ow&feature=youtu.be&t=214

The Most High!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3q8nGnls1Ow&feature=emb_logo

On 10/2/20 12:21 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

On 10/1/20 11:48 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

Do you recall my interviewing with Andreas? I did NOT NOT NOT NADA ZILCH NOTHING TO SEE HERE ZERO TIME FOR YOU get that job, for whatever reason...

On 10/1/20 11:46 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

Hi Ron,

Thank you so much for the kind words and the extension of your hand towards myself. In no fashion has it been all bad. I really need to tell you, right now, that I did not do any work on VMMaker. Was there extensions to same from the VMMakerTool? Perhaps, I do not recall. I only built the Tool, not the Maker. Good grief, I agree, that's a whole other level!

I feel the same about the opportunities I had with you. I am still dorking with ASN1, currently broken, trying to add a "Class" Application Class tag. Missing an explicit context in on of the directions. Memory and Trauma are definitely linked. That's where the flashbacks come from. Do you recall my interviewing with Andreas? I did NOT NOT NOT NADA ZILCH NOTHING TO SEE HERE get that job, for whatever reason...

I think I may be done. PromisesLocal is broken. ParrotTalk is broken. ASN1 is broken. SSL is broken. PromisesRemote is broken. Sigh. Fuck it. Someone else will have to pick it up. 20 years of work! I am hitting deep blue ocean, on my way to Morocco, by way of the Azores! With my shiny Zeus 3! Ciao, bella!

I have been in Army/Germany, College, First Union/Charlotte, IBM/Puerto Rico, GRCI/JWARS, The FOURTH ESTATE!, Exobox, Quallaby/Lowell, WaMu/Seattle, FEMA/Reston, ARP&Associates/MILSATCOM, K12/Fired for weed, Dish Network/Denver, Homeless/Denver, Arrested/Jailed/Denver/Chapel Hill, Persecuted/All, A few 10s of Mental Facility Committals/Starts after 9/11 in Lowell, Squeaker/Since GRCI, Disability, Dreams coming true/A beautiful, capable sailboat. still looking for my life-long first mate. :( My faith and my hope/Infinity. :-D

The Hellfire and its occupants, not my problem. I pay no attention. Burn.

I "Will be in a life of bliss, In a Garden on high. The Fruits whereof"...

---

Al Haqqah (69)

[The Sure Reality!

What is the Sure Reality?

And what will make thee realise what the Sure Reality is?

The Thamud and the 'Ad People (branded) as false the Stunning Calamity!

But the Thamud,- they were destroyed by a terrible Storm of thunder and lightning!

And the 'Ad, they were destroyed by a furious Wind, exceedingly violent;

He made it rage against them seven nights and eight days in succession: so that thou couldst see the (whole) people lying prostrate in its (path), as they had been roots of hollow palm-trees tumbled down!

Then seest thou any of them left surviving?

And Pharaoh, and those before him, and the Cities Overthrown, committed habitual Sin.

And disobeyed (each) the messenger of their Lord; so He punished them with an abundant Penalty.

We, when the water (of Noah's Flood) overflowed beyond its limits, carried you (mankind), in the floating (Ark),

That We might make it a Message unto you, and that ears (that should hear the tale and) retain its memory should bear its (lessons) in remembrance.

Then, when one blast is sounded on the Trumpet,

And the earth is moved, and its mountains, and they are crushed to powder at one stroke,-

On that Day shall the (Great) Event come to pass.

And the sky will be rent asunder, for it will that Day be flimsy,

And the angels will be on its sides, and eight will, that Day, bear the Throne of thy Lord above them.

That Day shall ye be brought to Judgment: not an act of yours that ye hide will be hidden.

Then he that will be given his Record in his right hand will say: "Ah here! Read ye my Record!

"I did really understand that my Account would (One Day) reach me!"

And he will be in a life of Bliss,

In a Garden on high,

The Fruits whereof (will hang in bunches) low and near.

"Eat ye and drink ye, with full satisfaction; because of the (good) that ye sent before you, in the days that are gone!"

And he that will be given his Record in his left hand, will say: "Ah! Would that my Record had not been given to me!

"And that I had never realised how my account (stood)!

"Ah! Would that (Death) had made an end of me!

"Of no profit to me has been my wealth!

"My power has perished from me!"...

(The stern command will say): "Seize ye him, and bind ye him,

"And burn ye him in the Blazing Fire.

"Further, make him march in a chain, whereof the length is seventy cubits!

"This was he that would not believe in Allah Most High.

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!

"So no friend hath he here this Day.

"Nor hath he any food except the corruption from the washing of wounds,

"Which none do eat but those in sin."

So I do call to witness what ye see,

And what ye see not,

That this is verily the word of an honoured messenger;

It is not the word of a poet: little it is ye believe!

Nor is it the word of a soothsayer: little admonition it is ye receive.

(This is) a Message sent down from the Lord of the Worlds.

And if the messenger were to invent any sayings in Our name,

We should certainly seize him by his right hand,

And We should certainly then cut off the artery of his heart:

Nor could any of you withhold him (from Our wrath).

But verily this is a Message for the Allah-fearing.

And We certainly know that there are amongst you those that reject (it).

But truly (Revelation) is a cause of sorrow for the Unbelievers.

But verily it is Truth of assured certainty.

So glorify the name of thy Lord Most High.

] - Quran 69:1-52

---

Slosher
Oriental, NC

On 10/1/20 11:36 PM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Hi Rob,

I'm so sorry you felt that way.  I know you have had major issues, you have said the same yourself.  I'm always happy to see you come back even after long absences.  You are a brilliant coder and it has been my distinct pleasure to work with you on Cryptography!  Thank you for all you have done and indeed you are responsible for adding significant value to Squeak and the community.  

We all work on code and it's easy to work your ass off on something to make it work and forget where it originated.  We all contribute in large and small ways to everything.  If you started VMMaker thank you!  It is definitely something a lot of us use.  I remember learning all about it a long long time ago before I realized that while I could understand it and I could use it, the people that work on the VM are a level higher than me.  I just make apps!

I remember getting in an argument with Andreas about adding methods to collection.  "WE DON"T NEED more methods in Collection we need to remove most of them and make it easier!" I argued with him about the value over and over but he insisted that they just didn't add enough value.  I could have been put off.  I could have assumed that Andreas didn't like me but I would have been very wrong!  I was really honored to get the chance to work with him and we became great friends.  Of course I added my methods to the code we were working on together and was so thrilled when he used my methods for his own code.

I don't know what happened with VMMaker but again thank you for your participation in it.. I wanted to take a minute to thank you for your work and to let you know it is my honor to work with you too!  I hope that you can come to terms with your past and that you get the help you need for your CPTSD.  

Everything is possible, the past is gone, but the future is still yours to shape.  I wish the past was set in stone but even that moves and slips.  I was talking to my wife about a party we attended: "Remember in 2000 we were at the party and counted down the new year and someone hit the breaker and killed the lights!  We were all talking about what would happen in the year 2000, would everything break!"  Great story except that I hadn't met my wife yet!  The past is only what we remember but the future is something we have control over.  Peace, calm, happyness, they are all hard to come by but they are possible.  I wish you success in finding what makes your future better.

I'm sorry about the bad things that have happened to you in the past.  As far as I'm concerned, you are welcomed here!  

All the best,

Ron Teitelbaum 

On Thu, Oct 1, 2020 at 10:38 PM Robert Withers via Squeak-dev <[hidden email]> wrote:

:sob::sob::sob:

On 10/1/20 10:34 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

I wrote to the #general Squeak Slack channel:

What a complete larcenous bastard. 20 years ago, this month, published it as his own work. And been against me ever since. My CPTSD (100% veteran service-connected) comes with an exquisitely sensitive deception meter. There are those who shunned me and ostracized me and made me feel MOST UNWELCOME. For  20 years. My delusions kick in and I start suspecting back channel communications against me. My love for Squeak conflicted with what I knew was happening. but I hung in there and worked on Cryptography, work with a group of great people and that I am satisfied with its added value to Squeak. For 20 years I KNEW people were against me in the community. I cannot describe how negatively this affected me. My third suicide attempt, in 2007 I jumped off the roof of a 6 story apartment building and broke my back along with many bones. God did not want me to die, yet, so I lived. This deception and ostracism is most well highlighted by the taking credit for my work, without attribution. He is a complete tool. SHAME!

I do not know the degree to which he spoke against me. I imagine it was ever since 2000. Delusions! What is real? I knew not. So much torment! AGONY! They do not welcome me! They are trying to chase me off! Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Severely exacerbated my CPTSD! I kept trying to kill myself because of it! I thought I had done something egregiously wrong. Whatever it was it had to be my fault. I was not feeling the love, even from myself.

:scream:

:scream:

In 2017, 900 units of insulin brought my blood glucose below 40. I almost succeeded that time.

:scream:

rww

On 10/1/20 8:55 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

The worst sort of person is one who takes the credit for the work of
another. Wouldn't you agree?

You may wish to hear John's judgement on the matter. He was right there
when it was first built.

If you are not humble you will be humiliated, and brought low.

rww

On 10/1/20 8:35 PM, tim Rowledge wrote:

On 2020-10-01, at 4:57 PM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev [hidden email] wrote:

I am curious. Who was the original author of the VMMaker Tool?

That would be me; back in exobox days. Written along with the original VMMaker and intended to be an example of clean, tidy, morphic usage. I've no idea if anyone ever uses it now, since running it via scripting has proven more valuable.


tim
--
tim Rowledge; [hidden email]; http://www.rowledge.org/tim
"Wibble" said Pooh the stress beginning to show.

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!"

The Hellfire and its occupants, not my problem. I pay no attention. Burn.

I "Will be in a life of bliss, In a Garden on high. The Fruits whereof"...

---

Al Haqqah (69)

[The Sure Reality!

What is the Sure Reality?

And what will make thee realise what the Sure Reality is?

The Thamud and the 'Ad People (branded) as false the Stunning Calamity!

But the Thamud,- they were destroyed by a terrible Storm of thunder and lightning!

And the 'Ad, they were destroyed by a furious Wind, exceedingly violent;

He made it rage against them seven nights and eight days in succession: so that thou couldst see the (whole) people lying prostrate in its (path), as they had been roots of hollow palm-trees tumbled down!

Then seest thou any of them left surviving?

And Pharaoh, and those before him, and the Cities Overthrown, committed habitual Sin.

And disobeyed (each) the messenger of their Lord; so He punished them with an abundant Penalty.

We, when the water (of Noah's Flood) overflowed beyond its limits, carried you (mankind), in the floating (Ark),

That We might make it a Message unto you, and that ears (that should hear the tale and) retain its memory should bear its (lessons) in remembrance.

Then, when one blast is sounded on the Trumpet,

And the earth is moved, and its mountains, and they are crushed to powder at one stroke,-

On that Day shall the (Great) Event come to pass.

And the sky will be rent asunder, for it will that Day be flimsy,

And the angels will be on its sides, and eight will, that Day, bear the Throne of thy Lord above them.

That Day shall ye be brought to Judgment: not an act of yours that ye hide will be hidden.

Then he that will be given his Record in his right hand will say: "Ah here! Read ye my Record!

"I did really understand that my Account would (One Day) reach me!"

And he will be in a life of Bliss,

In a Garden on high,

The Fruits whereof (will hang in bunches) low and near.

"Eat ye and drink ye, with full satisfaction; because of the (good) that ye sent before you, in the days that are gone!"

And he that will be given his Record in his left hand, will say: "Ah! Would that my Record had not been given to me!

"And that I had never realised how my account (stood)!

"Ah! Would that (Death) had made an end of me!

"Of no profit to me has been my wealth!

"My power has perished from me!"...

(The stern command will say): "Seize ye him, and bind ye him,

"And burn ye him in the Blazing Fire.

"Further, make him march in a chain, whereof the length is seventy cubits!

"This was he that would not believe in Allah Most High.

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!

"So no friend hath he here this Day.

"Nor hath he any food except the corruption from the washing of wounds,

"Which none do eat but those in sin."

So I do call to witness what ye see,

And what ye see not,

That this is verily the word of an honoured messenger;

It is not the word of a poet: little it is ye believe!

Nor is it the word of a soothsayer: little admonition it is ye receive.

(This is) a Message sent down from the Lord of the Worlds.

And if the messenger were to invent any sayings in Our name,

We should certainly seize him by his right hand,

And We should certainly then cut off the artery of his heart:

Nor could any of you withhold him (from Our wrath).

But verily this is a Message for the Allah-fearing.

And We certainly know that there are amongst you those that reject (it).

But truly (Revelation) is a cause of sorrow for the Unbelievers.

But verily it is Truth of assured certainty.

So glorify the name of thy Lord Most High.

] - Quran 69:1-52

---

Slosher
Oriental, NC

On 10/1/20 11:36 PM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Hi Rob,

I'm so sorry you felt that way.  I know you have had major issues, you have said the same yourself.  I'm always happy to see you come back even after long absences.  You are a brilliant coder and it has been my distinct pleasure to work with you on Cryptography!  Thank you for all you have done and indeed you are responsible for adding significant value to Squeak and the community.  

We all work on code and it's easy to work your ass off on something to make it work and forget where it originated.  We all contribute in large and small ways to everything.  If you started VMMaker thank you!  It is definitely something a lot of us use.  I remember learning all about it a long long time ago before I realized that while I could understand it and I could use it, the people that work on the VM are a level higher than me.  I just make apps!

I remember getting in an argument with Andreas about adding methods to collection.  "WE DON"T NEED more methods in Collection we need to remove most of them and make it easier!" I argued with him about the value over and over but he insisted that they just didn't add enough value.  I could have been put off.  I could have assumed that Andreas didn't like me but I would have been very wrong!  I was really honored to get the chance to work with him and we became great friends.  Of course I added my methods to the code we were working on together and was so thrilled when he used my methods for his own code.

I don't know what happened with VMMaker but again thank you for your participation in it.. I wanted to take a minute to thank you for your work and to let you know it is my honor to work with you too!  I hope that you can come to terms with your past and that you get the help you need for your CPTSD.  

Everything is possible, the past is gone, but the future is still yours to shape.  I wish the past was set in stone but even that moves and slips.  I was talking to my wife about a party we attended: "Remember in 2000 we were at the party and counted down the new year and someone hit the breaker and killed the lights!  We were all talking about what would happen in the year 2000, would everything break!"  Great story except that I hadn't met my wife yet!  The past is only what we remember but the future is something we have control over.  Peace, calm, happyness, they are all hard to come by but they are possible.  I wish you success in finding what makes your future better.

I'm sorry about the bad things that have happened to you in the past.  As far as I'm concerned, you are welcomed here!  

All the best,

Ron Teitelbaum 

On Thu, Oct 1, 2020 at 10:38 PM Robert Withers via Squeak-dev <[hidden email]> wrote:

:sob::sob::sob:

On 10/1/20 10:34 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

I wrote to the #general Squeak Slack channel:

What a complete larcenous bastard. 20 years ago, this month, published it as his own work. And been against me ever since. My CPTSD (100% veteran service-connected) comes with an exquisitely sensitive deception meter. There are those who shunned me and ostracized me and made me feel MOST UNWELCOME. For  20 years. My delusions kick in and I start suspecting back channel communications against me. My love for Squeak conflicted with what I knew was happening. but I hung in there and worked on Cryptography, work with a group of great people and that I am satisfied with its added value to Squeak. For 20 years I KNEW people were against me in the community. I cannot describe how negatively this affected me. My third suicide attempt, in 2007 I jumped off the roof of a 6 story apartment building and broke my back along with many bones. God did not want me to die, yet, so I lived. This deception and ostracism is most well highlighted by the taking credit for my work, without attribution. He is a complete tool. SHAME!

I do not know the degree to which he spoke against me. I imagine it was ever since 2000. Delusions! What is real? I knew not. So much torment! AGONY! They do not welcome me! They are trying to chase me off! Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Severely exacerbated my CPTSD! I kept trying to kill myself because of it! I thought I had done something egregiously wrong. Whatever it was it had to be my fault. I was not feeling the love, even from myself.

:scream:

:scream:

In 2017, 900 units of insulin brought my blood glucose below 40. I almost succeeded that time.

:scream:

rww

On 10/1/20 8:55 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

The worst sort of person is one who takes the credit for the work of
another. Wouldn't you agree?

You may wish to hear John's judgement on the matter. He was right there
when it was first built.

If you are not humble you will be humiliated, and brought low.

rww

On 10/1/20 8:35 PM, tim Rowledge wrote:

On 2020-10-01, at 4:57 PM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev [hidden email] wrote:

I am curious. Who was the original author of the VMMaker Tool?

That would be me; back in exobox days. Written along with the original VMMaker and intended to be an example of clean, tidy, morphic usage. I've no idea if anyone ever uses it now, since running it via scripting has proven more valuable.


tim
--
tim Rowledge; [hidden email]; http://www.rowledge.org/tim
"Wibble" said Pooh the stress beginning to show.

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

Thank you for reaching out in this manner on these issues. Though be ye not concerned for my health, Ron, I am in a good place. The sobbing really helps a LOT! And I was brought to that tonight after screaming! And discussing a couple of my many suicide attempts. And realizing the effect my not finding a home with Squeak had affected me over 20 years. It hurts! I sob. All is well; God is Good. The Truth heals. All praise to the Most High!

Kindly,
Rob

Rob,

You have been in this place before.  Is there someone you can talk to for help?  Do you have a connection to someone that is working with you on your issues?  Would you consider calling them now?

I've seen you here before.  I've seen you doing much better.  You should be good to yourself and get help now to move into calmer water and get on a more even keel.  A better future includes protecting yourself, being nice to yourself, and making sure you get help when you need it.

Don't wait until later.  I really recommend you do it now.

Ron

On Fri, Oct 2, 2020 at 1:50 AM Robert Withers <[hidden email]> wrote:

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!"

On 10/2/20 12:21 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

The Hellfire and its occupants, not my problem. I pay no attention. Burn.

I "Will be in a life of bliss, In a Garden on high. The Fruits whereof"...

---

Al Haqqah (69)

[The Sure Reality!

What is the Sure Reality?

And what will make thee realise what the Sure Reality is?

The Thamud and the 'Ad People (branded) as false the Stunning Calamity!

But the Thamud,- they were destroyed by a terrible Storm of thunder and lightning!

And the 'Ad, they were destroyed by a furious Wind, exceedingly violent;

He made it rage against them seven nights and eight days in succession: so that thou couldst see the (whole) people lying prostrate in its (path), as they had been roots of hollow palm-trees tumbled down!

Then seest thou any of them left surviving?

And Pharaoh, and those before him, and the Cities Overthrown, committed habitual Sin.

And disobeyed (each) the messenger of their Lord; so He punished them with an abundant Penalty.

We, when the water (of Noah's Flood) overflowed beyond its limits, carried you (mankind), in the floating (Ark),

That We might make it a Message unto you, and that ears (that should hear the tale and) retain its memory should bear its (lessons) in remembrance.

Then, when one blast is sounded on the Trumpet,

And the earth is moved, and its mountains, and they are crushed to powder at one stroke,-

On that Day shall the (Great) Event come to pass.

And the sky will be rent asunder, for it will that Day be flimsy,

And the angels will be on its sides, and eight will, that Day, bear the Throne of thy Lord above them.

That Day shall ye be brought to Judgment: not an act of yours that ye hide will be hidden.

Then he that will be given his Record in his right hand will say: "Ah here! Read ye my Record!

"I did really understand that my Account would (One Day) reach me!"

And he will be in a life of Bliss,

In a Garden on high,

The Fruits whereof (will hang in bunches) low and near.

"Eat ye and drink ye, with full satisfaction; because of the (good) that ye sent before you, in the days that are gone!"

And he that will be given his Record in his left hand, will say: "Ah! Would that my Record had not been given to me!

"And that I had never realised how my account (stood)!

"Ah! Would that (Death) had made an end of me!

"Of no profit to me has been my wealth!

"My power has perished from me!"...

(The stern command will say): "Seize ye him, and bind ye him,

"And burn ye him in the Blazing Fire.

"Further, make him march in a chain, whereof the length is seventy cubits!

"This was he that would not believe in Allah Most High.

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!

"So no friend hath he here this Day.

"Nor hath he any food except the corruption from the washing of wounds,

"Which none do eat but those in sin."

So I do call to witness what ye see,

And what ye see not,

That this is verily the word of an honoured messenger;

It is not the word of a poet: little it is ye believe!

Nor is it the word of a soothsayer: little admonition it is ye receive.

(This is) a Message sent down from the Lord of the Worlds.

And if the messenger were to invent any sayings in Our name,

We should certainly seize him by his right hand,

And We should certainly then cut off the artery of his heart:

Nor could any of you withhold him (from Our wrath).

But verily this is a Message for the Allah-fearing.

And We certainly know that there are amongst you those that reject (it).

But truly (Revelation) is a cause of sorrow for the Unbelievers.

But verily it is Truth of assured certainty.

So glorify the name of thy Lord Most High.

] - Quran 69:1-52

---

Slosher
Oriental, NC

On 10/1/20 11:36 PM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Hi Rob,

I'm so sorry you felt that way.  I know you have had major issues, you have said the same yourself.  I'm always happy to see you come back even after long absences.  You are a brilliant coder and it has been my distinct pleasure to work with you on Cryptography!  Thank you for all you have done and indeed you are responsible for adding significant value to Squeak and the community.  

We all work on code and it's easy to work your ass off on something to make it work and forget where it originated.  We all contribute in large and small ways to everything.  If you started VMMaker thank you!  It is definitely something a lot of us use.  I remember learning all about it a long long time ago before I realized that while I could understand it and I could use it, the people that work on the VM are a level higher than me.  I just make apps!

I remember getting in an argument with Andreas about adding methods to collection.  "WE DON"T NEED more methods in Collection we need to remove most of them and make it easier!" I argued with him about the value over and over but he insisted that they just didn't add enough value.  I could have been put off.  I could have assumed that Andreas didn't like me but I would have been very wrong!  I was really honored to get the chance to work with him and we became great friends.  Of course I added my methods to the code we were working on together and was so thrilled when he used my methods for his own code.

I don't know what happened with VMMaker but again thank you for your participation in it.. I wanted to take a minute to thank you for your work and to let you know it is my honor to work with you too!  I hope that you can come to terms with your past and that you get the help you need for your CPTSD.  

Everything is possible, the past is gone, but the future is still yours to shape.  I wish the past was set in stone but even that moves and slips.  I was talking to my wife about a party we attended: "Remember in 2000 we were at the party and counted down the new year and someone hit the breaker and killed the lights!  We were all talking about what would happen in the year 2000, would everything break!"  Great story except that I hadn't met my wife yet!  The past is only what we remember but the future is something we have control over.  Peace, calm, happyness, they are all hard to come by but they are possible.  I wish you success in finding what makes your future better.

I'm sorry about the bad things that have happened to you in the past.  As far as I'm concerned, you are welcomed here!  

All the best,

Ron Teitelbaum 

On Thu, Oct 1, 2020 at 10:38 PM Robert Withers via Squeak-dev <[hidden email]> wrote:

:sob::sob::sob:

On 10/1/20 10:34 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

I wrote to the #general Squeak Slack channel:

What a complete larcenous bastard. 20 years ago, this month, published it as his own work. And been against me ever since. My CPTSD (100% veteran service-connected) comes with an exquisitely sensitive deception meter. There are those who shunned me and ostracized me and made me feel MOST UNWELCOME. For  20 years. My delusions kick in and I start suspecting back channel communications against me. My love for Squeak conflicted with what I knew was happening. but I hung in there and worked on Cryptography, work with a group of great people and that I am satisfied with its added value to Squeak. For 20 years I KNEW people were against me in the community. I cannot describe how negatively this affected me. My third suicide attempt, in 2007 I jumped off the roof of a 6 story apartment building and broke my back along with many bones. God did not want me to die, yet, so I lived. This deception and ostracism is most well highlighted by the taking credit for my work, without attribution. He is a complete tool. SHAME!

I do not know the degree to which he spoke against me. I imagine it was ever since 2000. Delusions! What is real? I knew not. So much torment! AGONY! They do not welcome me! They are trying to chase me off! Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Severely exacerbated my CPTSD! I kept trying to kill myself because of it! I thought I had done something egregiously wrong. Whatever it was it had to be my fault. I was not feeling the love, even from myself.

:scream:

:scream:

In 2017, 900 units of insulin brought my blood glucose below 40. I almost succeeded that time.

:scream:

rww

On 10/1/20 8:55 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

The worst sort of person is one who takes the credit for the work of
another. Wouldn't you agree?

You may wish to hear John's judgement on the matter. He was right there
when it was first built.

If you are not humble you will be humiliated, and brought low.

rww

On 10/1/20 8:35 PM, tim Rowledge wrote:

On 2020-10-01, at 4:57 PM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev [hidden email] wrote:

I am curious. Who was the original author of the VMMaker Tool?

That would be me; back in exobox days. Written along with the original VMMaker and intended to be an example of clean, tidy, morphic usage. I've no idea if anyone ever uses it now, since running it via scripting has proven more valuable.


tim
--
tim Rowledge; [hidden email]; http://www.rowledge.org/tim
"Wibble" said Pooh the stress beginning to show.

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.

Jeremiah 30:17

Thank you for reaching out in this manner on these issues. Though be ye not concerned for my health, Ron, I am in a good place. The sobbing really helps a LOT! And I was brought to that tonight after screaming! And discussing a couple of my many suicide attempts. And realizing the effect my not finding a home with Squeak had affected me over 20 years. It hurts! I sob. All is well; God is Good. The Truth heals. All praise to the Most High!

Kindly,
Rob

On 10/2/20 2:16 AM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Rob,

You have been in this place before.  Is there someone you can talk to for help?  Do you have a connection to someone that is working with you on your issues?  Would you consider calling them now?

I've seen you here before.  I've seen you doing much better.  You should be good to yourself and get help now to move into calmer water and get on a more even keel.  A better future includes protecting yourself, being nice to yourself, and making sure you get help when you need it.

Don't wait until later.  I really recommend you do it now.

Ron

On Fri, Oct 2, 2020 at 1:50 AM Robert Withers <[hidden email]> wrote:

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!"

On 10/2/20 12:21 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

The Hellfire and its occupants, not my problem. I pay no attention. Burn.

I "Will be in a life of bliss, In a Garden on high. The Fruits whereof"...

---

Al Haqqah (69)

[The Sure Reality!

What is the Sure Reality?

And what will make thee realise what the Sure Reality is?

The Thamud and the 'Ad People (branded) as false the Stunning Calamity!

But the Thamud,- they were destroyed by a terrible Storm of thunder and lightning!

And the 'Ad, they were destroyed by a furious Wind, exceedingly violent;

He made it rage against them seven nights and eight days in succession: so that thou couldst see the (whole) people lying prostrate in its (path), as they had been roots of hollow palm-trees tumbled down!

Then seest thou any of them left surviving?

And Pharaoh, and those before him, and the Cities Overthrown, committed habitual Sin.

And disobeyed (each) the messenger of their Lord; so He punished them with an abundant Penalty.

We, when the water (of Noah's Flood) overflowed beyond its limits, carried you (mankind), in the floating (Ark),

That We might make it a Message unto you, and that ears (that should hear the tale and) retain its memory should bear its (lessons) in remembrance.

Then, when one blast is sounded on the Trumpet,

And the earth is moved, and its mountains, and they are crushed to powder at one stroke,-

On that Day shall the (Great) Event come to pass.

And the sky will be rent asunder, for it will that Day be flimsy,

And the angels will be on its sides, and eight will, that Day, bear the Throne of thy Lord above them.

That Day shall ye be brought to Judgment: not an act of yours that ye hide will be hidden.

Then he that will be given his Record in his right hand will say: "Ah here! Read ye my Record!

"I did really understand that my Account would (One Day) reach me!"

And he will be in a life of Bliss,

In a Garden on high,

The Fruits whereof (will hang in bunches) low and near.

"Eat ye and drink ye, with full satisfaction; because of the (good) that ye sent before you, in the days that are gone!"

And he that will be given his Record in his left hand, will say: "Ah! Would that my Record had not been given to me!

"And that I had never realised how my account (stood)!

"Ah! Would that (Death) had made an end of me!

"Of no profit to me has been my wealth!

"My power has perished from me!"...

(The stern command will say): "Seize ye him, and bind ye him,

"And burn ye him in the Blazing Fire.

"Further, make him march in a chain, whereof the length is seventy cubits!

"This was he that would not believe in Allah Most High.

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!

"So no friend hath he here this Day.

"Nor hath he any food except the corruption from the washing of wounds,

"Which none do eat but those in sin."

So I do call to witness what ye see,

And what ye see not,

That this is verily the word of an honoured messenger;

It is not the word of a poet: little it is ye believe!

Nor is it the word of a soothsayer: little admonition it is ye receive.

(This is) a Message sent down from the Lord of the Worlds.

And if the messenger were to invent any sayings in Our name,

We should certainly seize him by his right hand,

And We should certainly then cut off the artery of his heart:

Nor could any of you withhold him (from Our wrath).

But verily this is a Message for the Allah-fearing.

And We certainly know that there are amongst you those that reject (it).

But truly (Revelation) is a cause of sorrow for the Unbelievers.

But verily it is Truth of assured certainty.

So glorify the name of thy Lord Most High.

] - Quran 69:1-52

---

Slosher
Oriental, NC

On 10/1/20 11:36 PM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Hi Rob,

I'm so sorry you felt that way.  I know you have had major issues, you have said the same yourself.  I'm always happy to see you come back even after long absences.  You are a brilliant coder and it has been my distinct pleasure to work with you on Cryptography!  Thank you for all you have done and indeed you are responsible for adding significant value to Squeak and the community.  

We all work on code and it's easy to work your ass off on something to make it work and forget where it originated.  We all contribute in large and small ways to everything.  If you started VMMaker thank you!  It is definitely something a lot of us use.  I remember learning all about it a long long time ago before I realized that while I could understand it and I could use it, the people that work on the VM are a level higher than me.  I just make apps!

I remember getting in an argument with Andreas about adding methods to collection.  "WE DON"T NEED more methods in Collection we need to remove most of them and make it easier!" I argued with him about the value over and over but he insisted that they just didn't add enough value.  I could have been put off.  I could have assumed that Andreas didn't like me but I would have been very wrong!  I was really honored to get the chance to work with him and we became great friends.  Of course I added my methods to the code we were working on together and was so thrilled when he used my methods for his own code.

I don't know what happened with VMMaker but again thank you for your participation in it.. I wanted to take a minute to thank you for your work and to let you know it is my honor to work with you too!  I hope that you can come to terms with your past and that you get the help you need for your CPTSD.  

Everything is possible, the past is gone, but the future is still yours to shape.  I wish the past was set in stone but even that moves and slips.  I was talking to my wife about a party we attended: "Remember in 2000 we were at the party and counted down the new year and someone hit the breaker and killed the lights!  We were all talking about what would happen in the year 2000, would everything break!"  Great story except that I hadn't met my wife yet!  The past is only what we remember but the future is something we have control over.  Peace, calm, happyness, they are all hard to come by but they are possible.  I wish you success in finding what makes your future better.

I'm sorry about the bad things that have happened to you in the past.  As far as I'm concerned, you are welcomed here!  

All the best,

Ron Teitelbaum 

On Thu, Oct 1, 2020 at 10:38 PM Robert Withers via Squeak-dev <[hidden email]> wrote:

:sob::sob::sob:

On 10/1/20 10:34 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

I wrote to the #general Squeak Slack channel:

What a complete larcenous bastard. 20 years ago, this month, published it as his own work. And been against me ever since. My CPTSD (100% veteran service-connected) comes with an exquisitely sensitive deception meter. There are those who shunned me and ostracized me and made me feel MOST UNWELCOME. For  20 years. My delusions kick in and I start suspecting back channel communications against me. My love for Squeak conflicted with what I knew was happening. but I hung in there and worked on Cryptography, work with a group of great people and that I am satisfied with its added value to Squeak. For 20 years I KNEW people were against me in the community. I cannot describe how negatively this affected me. My third suicide attempt, in 2007 I jumped off the roof of a 6 story apartment building and broke my back along with many bones. God did not want me to die, yet, so I lived. This deception and ostracism is most well highlighted by the taking credit for my work, without attribution. He is a complete tool. SHAME!

I do not know the degree to which he spoke against me. I imagine it was ever since 2000. Delusions! What is real? I knew not. So much torment! AGONY! They do not welcome me! They are trying to chase me off! Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Severely exacerbated my CPTSD! I kept trying to kill myself because of it! I thought I had done something egregiously wrong. Whatever it was it had to be my fault. I was not feeling the love, even from myself.

:scream:

:scream:

In 2017, 900 units of insulin brought my blood glucose below 40. I almost succeeded that time.

:scream:

rww

On 10/1/20 8:55 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

The worst sort of person is one who takes the credit for the work of
another. Wouldn't you agree?

You may wish to hear John's judgement on the matter. He was right there
when it was first built.

If you are not humble you will be humiliated, and brought low.

rww

On 10/1/20 8:35 PM, tim Rowledge wrote:

On 2020-10-01, at 4:57 PM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev [hidden email] wrote:

I am curious. Who was the original author of the VMMaker Tool?

That would be me; back in exobox days. Written along with the original VMMaker and intended to be an example of clean, tidy, morphic usage. I've no idea if anyone ever uses it now, since running it via scripting has proven more valuable.


tim
--
tim Rowledge; [hidden email]; http://www.rowledge.org/tim
"Wibble" said Pooh the stress beginning to show.

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

Play a bit of these spicy beats! The music helps me to express what is on the inside.

https://youtu.be/3q8nGnls1Ow?t=2711

For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.

Jeremiah 30:17

On 10/2/20 2:22 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

Thank you for reaching out in this manner on these issues. Though be ye not concerned for my health, Ron, I am in a good place. The sobbing really helps a LOT! And I was brought to that tonight after screaming! And discussing a couple of my many suicide attempts. And realizing the effect my not finding a home with Squeak had affected me over 20 years. It hurts! I sob. All is well; God is Good. The Truth heals. All praise to the Most High!

Kindly,
Rob

On 10/2/20 2:16 AM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Rob,

You have been in this place before.  Is there someone you can talk to for help?  Do you have a connection to someone that is working with you on your issues?  Would you consider calling them now?

I've seen you here before.  I've seen you doing much better.  You should be good to yourself and get help now to move into calmer water and get on a more even keel.  A better future includes protecting yourself, being nice to yourself, and making sure you get help when you need it.

Don't wait until later.  I really recommend you do it now.

Ron

On Fri, Oct 2, 2020 at 1:50 AM Robert Withers <[hidden email]> wrote:

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!"

On 10/2/20 12:21 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

The Hellfire and its occupants, not my problem. I pay no attention. Burn.

I "Will be in a life of bliss, In a Garden on high. The Fruits whereof"...

---

Al Haqqah (69)

[The Sure Reality!

What is the Sure Reality?

And what will make thee realise what the Sure Reality is?

The Thamud and the 'Ad People (branded) as false the Stunning Calamity!

But the Thamud,- they were destroyed by a terrible Storm of thunder and lightning!

And the 'Ad, they were destroyed by a furious Wind, exceedingly violent;

He made it rage against them seven nights and eight days in succession: so that thou couldst see the (whole) people lying prostrate in its (path), as they had been roots of hollow palm-trees tumbled down!

Then seest thou any of them left surviving?

And Pharaoh, and those before him, and the Cities Overthrown, committed habitual Sin.

And disobeyed (each) the messenger of their Lord; so He punished them with an abundant Penalty.

We, when the water (of Noah's Flood) overflowed beyond its limits, carried you (mankind), in the floating (Ark),

That We might make it a Message unto you, and that ears (that should hear the tale and) retain its memory should bear its (lessons) in remembrance.

Then, when one blast is sounded on the Trumpet,

And the earth is moved, and its mountains, and they are crushed to powder at one stroke,-

On that Day shall the (Great) Event come to pass.

And the sky will be rent asunder, for it will that Day be flimsy,

And the angels will be on its sides, and eight will, that Day, bear the Throne of thy Lord above them.

That Day shall ye be brought to Judgment: not an act of yours that ye hide will be hidden.

Then he that will be given his Record in his right hand will say: "Ah here! Read ye my Record!

"I did really understand that my Account would (One Day) reach me!"

And he will be in a life of Bliss,

In a Garden on high,

The Fruits whereof (will hang in bunches) low and near.

"Eat ye and drink ye, with full satisfaction; because of the (good) that ye sent before you, in the days that are gone!"

And he that will be given his Record in his left hand, will say: "Ah! Would that my Record had not been given to me!

"And that I had never realised how my account (stood)!

"Ah! Would that (Death) had made an end of me!

"Of no profit to me has been my wealth!

"My power has perished from me!"...

(The stern command will say): "Seize ye him, and bind ye him,

"And burn ye him in the Blazing Fire.

"Further, make him march in a chain, whereof the length is seventy cubits!

"This was he that would not believe in Allah Most High.

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!

"So no friend hath he here this Day.

"Nor hath he any food except the corruption from the washing of wounds,

"Which none do eat but those in sin."

So I do call to witness what ye see,

And what ye see not,

That this is verily the word of an honoured messenger;

It is not the word of a poet: little it is ye believe!

Nor is it the word of a soothsayer: little admonition it is ye receive.

(This is) a Message sent down from the Lord of the Worlds.

And if the messenger were to invent any sayings in Our name,

We should certainly seize him by his right hand,

And We should certainly then cut off the artery of his heart:

Nor could any of you withhold him (from Our wrath).

But verily this is a Message for the Allah-fearing.

And We certainly know that there are amongst you those that reject (it).

But truly (Revelation) is a cause of sorrow for the Unbelievers.

But verily it is Truth of assured certainty.

So glorify the name of thy Lord Most High.

] - Quran 69:1-52

---

Slosher
Oriental, NC

On 10/1/20 11:36 PM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Hi Rob,

I'm so sorry you felt that way.  I know you have had major issues, you have said the same yourself.  I'm always happy to see you come back even after long absences.  You are a brilliant coder and it has been my distinct pleasure to work with you on Cryptography!  Thank you for all you have done and indeed you are responsible for adding significant value to Squeak and the community.  

We all work on code and it's easy to work your ass off on something to make it work and forget where it originated.  We all contribute in large and small ways to everything.  If you started VMMaker thank you!  It is definitely something a lot of us use.  I remember learning all about it a long long time ago before I realized that while I could understand it and I could use it, the people that work on the VM are a level higher than me.  I just make apps!

I remember getting in an argument with Andreas about adding methods to collection.  "WE DON"T NEED more methods in Collection we need to remove most of them and make it easier!" I argued with him about the value over and over but he insisted that they just didn't add enough value.  I could have been put off.  I could have assumed that Andreas didn't like me but I would have been very wrong!  I was really honored to get the chance to work with him and we became great friends.  Of course I added my methods to the code we were working on together and was so thrilled when he used my methods for his own code.

I don't know what happened with VMMaker but again thank you for your participation in it.. I wanted to take a minute to thank you for your work and to let you know it is my honor to work with you too!  I hope that you can come to terms with your past and that you get the help you need for your CPTSD.  

Everything is possible, the past is gone, but the future is still yours to shape.  I wish the past was set in stone but even that moves and slips.  I was talking to my wife about a party we attended: "Remember in 2000 we were at the party and counted down the new year and someone hit the breaker and killed the lights!  We were all talking about what would happen in the year 2000, would everything break!"  Great story except that I hadn't met my wife yet!  The past is only what we remember but the future is something we have control over.  Peace, calm, happyness, they are all hard to come by but they are possible.  I wish you success in finding what makes your future better.

I'm sorry about the bad things that have happened to you in the past.  As far as I'm concerned, you are welcomed here!  

All the best,

Ron Teitelbaum 

On Thu, Oct 1, 2020 at 10:38 PM Robert Withers via Squeak-dev <[hidden email]> wrote:

:sob::sob::sob:

On 10/1/20 10:34 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

I wrote to the #general Squeak Slack channel:

What a complete larcenous bastard. 20 years ago, this month, published it as his own work. And been against me ever since. My CPTSD (100% veteran service-connected) comes with an exquisitely sensitive deception meter. There are those who shunned me and ostracized me and made me feel MOST UNWELCOME. For  20 years. My delusions kick in and I start suspecting back channel communications against me. My love for Squeak conflicted with what I knew was happening. but I hung in there and worked on Cryptography, work with a group of great people and that I am satisfied with its added value to Squeak. For 20 years I KNEW people were against me in the community. I cannot describe how negatively this affected me. My third suicide attempt, in 2007 I jumped off the roof of a 6 story apartment building and broke my back along with many bones. God did not want me to die, yet, so I lived. This deception and ostracism is most well highlighted by the taking credit for my work, without attribution. He is a complete tool. SHAME!

I do not know the degree to which he spoke against me. I imagine it was ever since 2000. Delusions! What is real? I knew not. So much torment! AGONY! They do not welcome me! They are trying to chase me off! Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Severely exacerbated my CPTSD! I kept trying to kill myself because of it! I thought I had done something egregiously wrong. Whatever it was it had to be my fault. I was not feeling the love, even from myself.

:scream:

:scream:

In 2017, 900 units of insulin brought my blood glucose below 40. I almost succeeded that time.

:scream:

rww

On 10/1/20 8:55 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

The worst sort of person is one who takes the credit for the work of
another. Wouldn't you agree?

You may wish to hear John's judgement on the matter. He was right there
when it was first built.

If you are not humble you will be humiliated, and brought low.

rww

On 10/1/20 8:35 PM, tim Rowledge wrote:

On 2020-10-01, at 4:57 PM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev [hidden email] wrote:

I am curious. Who was the original author of the VMMaker Tool?

That would be me; back in exobox days. Written along with the original VMMaker and intended to be an example of clean, tidy, morphic usage. I've no idea if anyone ever uses it now, since running it via scripting has proven more valuable.


tim
--
tim Rowledge; [hidden email]; http://www.rowledge.org/tim
"Wibble" said Pooh the stress beginning to show.

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/rasta

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/mando

Play a bit of these spicy beats! The music helps me to express what is on the inside.

https://youtu.be/3q8nGnls1Ow?t=2711

On 10/2/20 2:26 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.

Jeremiah 30:17

On 10/2/20 2:22 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

Thank you for reaching out in this manner on these issues. Though be ye not concerned for my health, Ron, I am in a good place. The sobbing really helps a LOT! And I was brought to that tonight after screaming! And discussing a couple of my many suicide attempts. And realizing the effect my not finding a home with Squeak had affected me over 20 years. It hurts! I sob. All is well; God is Good. The Truth heals. All praise to the Most High!

Kindly,
Rob

On 10/2/20 2:16 AM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Rob,

You have been in this place before.  Is there someone you can talk to for help?  Do you have a connection to someone that is working with you on your issues?  Would you consider calling them now?

I've seen you here before.  I've seen you doing much better.  You should be good to yourself and get help now to move into calmer water and get on a more even keel.  A better future includes protecting yourself, being nice to yourself, and making sure you get help when you need it.

Don't wait until later.  I really recommend you do it now.

Ron

On Fri, Oct 2, 2020 at 1:50 AM Robert Withers <[hidden email]> wrote:

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!"

On 10/2/20 12:21 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

The Hellfire and its occupants, not my problem. I pay no attention. Burn.

I "Will be in a life of bliss, In a Garden on high. The Fruits whereof"...

---

Al Haqqah (69)

[The Sure Reality!

What is the Sure Reality?

And what will make thee realise what the Sure Reality is?

The Thamud and the 'Ad People (branded) as false the Stunning Calamity!

But the Thamud,- they were destroyed by a terrible Storm of thunder and lightning!

And the 'Ad, they were destroyed by a furious Wind, exceedingly violent;

He made it rage against them seven nights and eight days in succession: so that thou couldst see the (whole) people lying prostrate in its (path), as they had been roots of hollow palm-trees tumbled down!

Then seest thou any of them left surviving?

And Pharaoh, and those before him, and the Cities Overthrown, committed habitual Sin.

And disobeyed (each) the messenger of their Lord; so He punished them with an abundant Penalty.

We, when the water (of Noah's Flood) overflowed beyond its limits, carried you (mankind), in the floating (Ark),

That We might make it a Message unto you, and that ears (that should hear the tale and) retain its memory should bear its (lessons) in remembrance.

Then, when one blast is sounded on the Trumpet,

And the earth is moved, and its mountains, and they are crushed to powder at one stroke,-

On that Day shall the (Great) Event come to pass.

And the sky will be rent asunder, for it will that Day be flimsy,

And the angels will be on its sides, and eight will, that Day, bear the Throne of thy Lord above them.

That Day shall ye be brought to Judgment: not an act of yours that ye hide will be hidden.

Then he that will be given his Record in his right hand will say: "Ah here! Read ye my Record!

"I did really understand that my Account would (One Day) reach me!"

And he will be in a life of Bliss,

In a Garden on high,

The Fruits whereof (will hang in bunches) low and near.

"Eat ye and drink ye, with full satisfaction; because of the (good) that ye sent before you, in the days that are gone!"

And he that will be given his Record in his left hand, will say: "Ah! Would that my Record had not been given to me!

"And that I had never realised how my account (stood)!

"Ah! Would that (Death) had made an end of me!

"Of no profit to me has been my wealth!

"My power has perished from me!"...

(The stern command will say): "Seize ye him, and bind ye him,

"And burn ye him in the Blazing Fire.

"Further, make him march in a chain, whereof the length is seventy cubits!

"This was he that would not believe in Allah Most High.

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!

"So no friend hath he here this Day.

"Nor hath he any food except the corruption from the washing of wounds,

"Which none do eat but those in sin."

So I do call to witness what ye see,

And what ye see not,

That this is verily the word of an honoured messenger;

It is not the word of a poet: little it is ye believe!

Nor is it the word of a soothsayer: little admonition it is ye receive.

(This is) a Message sent down from the Lord of the Worlds.

And if the messenger were to invent any sayings in Our name,

We should certainly seize him by his right hand,

And We should certainly then cut off the artery of his heart:

Nor could any of you withhold him (from Our wrath).

But verily this is a Message for the Allah-fearing.

And We certainly know that there are amongst you those that reject (it).

But truly (Revelation) is a cause of sorrow for the Unbelievers.

But verily it is Truth of assured certainty.

So glorify the name of thy Lord Most High.

] - Quran 69:1-52

---

Slosher
Oriental, NC

On 10/1/20 11:36 PM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Hi Rob,

I'm so sorry you felt that way.  I know you have had major issues, you have said the same yourself.  I'm always happy to see you come back even after long absences.  You are a brilliant coder and it has been my distinct pleasure to work with you on Cryptography!  Thank you for all you have done and indeed you are responsible for adding significant value to Squeak and the community.  

We all work on code and it's easy to work your ass off on something to make it work and forget where it originated.  We all contribute in large and small ways to everything.  If you started VMMaker thank you!  It is definitely something a lot of us use.  I remember learning all about it a long long time ago before I realized that while I could understand it and I could use it, the people that work on the VM are a level higher than me.  I just make apps!

I remember getting in an argument with Andreas about adding methods to collection.  "WE DON"T NEED more methods in Collection we need to remove most of them and make it easier!" I argued with him about the value over and over but he insisted that they just didn't add enough value.  I could have been put off.  I could have assumed that Andreas didn't like me but I would have been very wrong!  I was really honored to get the chance to work with him and we became great friends.  Of course I added my methods to the code we were working on together and was so thrilled when he used my methods for his own code.

I don't know what happened with VMMaker but again thank you for your participation in it.. I wanted to take a minute to thank you for your work and to let you know it is my honor to work with you too!  I hope that you can come to terms with your past and that you get the help you need for your CPTSD.  

Everything is possible, the past is gone, but the future is still yours to shape.  I wish the past was set in stone but even that moves and slips.  I was talking to my wife about a party we attended: "Remember in 2000 we were at the party and counted down the new year and someone hit the breaker and killed the lights!  We were all talking about what would happen in the year 2000, would everything break!"  Great story except that I hadn't met my wife yet!  The past is only what we remember but the future is something we have control over.  Peace, calm, happyness, they are all hard to come by but they are possible.  I wish you success in finding what makes your future better.

I'm sorry about the bad things that have happened to you in the past.  As far as I'm concerned, you are welcomed here!  

All the best,

Ron Teitelbaum 

On Thu, Oct 1, 2020 at 10:38 PM Robert Withers via Squeak-dev <[hidden email]> wrote:

:sob::sob::sob:

On 10/1/20 10:34 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

I wrote to the #general Squeak Slack channel:

What a complete larcenous bastard. 20 years ago, this month, published it as his own work. And been against me ever since. My CPTSD (100% veteran service-connected) comes with an exquisitely sensitive deception meter. There are those who shunned me and ostracized me and made me feel MOST UNWELCOME. For  20 years. My delusions kick in and I start suspecting back channel communications against me. My love for Squeak conflicted with what I knew was happening. but I hung in there and worked on Cryptography, work with a group of great people and that I am satisfied with its added value to Squeak. For 20 years I KNEW people were against me in the community. I cannot describe how negatively this affected me. My third suicide attempt, in 2007 I jumped off the roof of a 6 story apartment building and broke my back along with many bones. God did not want me to die, yet, so I lived. This deception and ostracism is most well highlighted by the taking credit for my work, without attribution. He is a complete tool. SHAME!

I do not know the degree to which he spoke against me. I imagine it was ever since 2000. Delusions! What is real? I knew not. So much torment! AGONY! They do not welcome me! They are trying to chase me off! Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Severely exacerbated my CPTSD! I kept trying to kill myself because of it! I thought I had done something egregiously wrong. Whatever it was it had to be my fault. I was not feeling the love, even from myself.

:scream:

:scream:

In 2017, 900 units of insulin brought my blood glucose below 40. I almost succeeded that time.

:scream:

rww

On 10/1/20 8:55 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

The worst sort of person is one who takes the credit for the work of
another. Wouldn't you agree?

You may wish to hear John's judgement on the matter. He was right there
when it was first built.

If you are not humble you will be humiliated, and brought low.

rww

On 10/1/20 8:35 PM, tim Rowledge wrote:

On 2020-10-01, at 4:57 PM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev [hidden email] wrote:

I am curious. Who was the original author of the VMMaker Tool?

That would be me; back in exobox days. Written along with the original VMMaker and intended to be an example of clean, tidy, morphic usage. I've no idea if anyone ever uses it now, since running it via scripting has proven more valuable.


tim
--
tim Rowledge; [hidden email]; http://www.rowledge.org/tim
"Wibble" said Pooh the stress beginning to show.

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

Gotta meditate to this entire run! It's deep.

https://soundcloud.com/yusuke-mizushima/acid-jazz-mix-jazzual-suspects

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/rasta

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/mando

On 10/2/20 2:39 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

Play a bit of these spicy beats! The music helps me to express what is on the inside.

https://youtu.be/3q8nGnls1Ow?t=2711

On 10/2/20 2:26 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.

Jeremiah 30:17

On 10/2/20 2:22 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

Thank you for reaching out in this manner on these issues. Though be ye not concerned for my health, Ron, I am in a good place. The sobbing really helps a LOT! And I was brought to that tonight after screaming! And discussing a couple of my many suicide attempts. And realizing the effect my not finding a home with Squeak had affected me over 20 years. It hurts! I sob. All is well; God is Good. The Truth heals. All praise to the Most High!

Kindly,
Rob

On 10/2/20 2:16 AM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Rob,

You have been in this place before.  Is there someone you can talk to for help?  Do you have a connection to someone that is working with you on your issues?  Would you consider calling them now?

I've seen you here before.  I've seen you doing much better.  You should be good to yourself and get help now to move into calmer water and get on a more even keel.  A better future includes protecting yourself, being nice to yourself, and making sure you get help when you need it.

Don't wait until later.  I really recommend you do it now.

Ron

On Fri, Oct 2, 2020 at 1:50 AM Robert Withers <[hidden email]> wrote:

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!"

On 10/2/20 12:21 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

The Hellfire and its occupants, not my problem. I pay no attention. Burn.

I "Will be in a life of bliss, In a Garden on high. The Fruits whereof"...

---

Al Haqqah (69)

[The Sure Reality!

What is the Sure Reality?

And what will make thee realise what the Sure Reality is?

The Thamud and the 'Ad People (branded) as false the Stunning Calamity!

But the Thamud,- they were destroyed by a terrible Storm of thunder and lightning!

And the 'Ad, they were destroyed by a furious Wind, exceedingly violent;

He made it rage against them seven nights and eight days in succession: so that thou couldst see the (whole) people lying prostrate in its (path), as they had been roots of hollow palm-trees tumbled down!

Then seest thou any of them left surviving?

And Pharaoh, and those before him, and the Cities Overthrown, committed habitual Sin.

And disobeyed (each) the messenger of their Lord; so He punished them with an abundant Penalty.

We, when the water (of Noah's Flood) overflowed beyond its limits, carried you (mankind), in the floating (Ark),

That We might make it a Message unto you, and that ears (that should hear the tale and) retain its memory should bear its (lessons) in remembrance.

Then, when one blast is sounded on the Trumpet,

And the earth is moved, and its mountains, and they are crushed to powder at one stroke,-

On that Day shall the (Great) Event come to pass.

And the sky will be rent asunder, for it will that Day be flimsy,

And the angels will be on its sides, and eight will, that Day, bear the Throne of thy Lord above them.

That Day shall ye be brought to Judgment: not an act of yours that ye hide will be hidden.

Then he that will be given his Record in his right hand will say: "Ah here! Read ye my Record!

"I did really understand that my Account would (One Day) reach me!"

And he will be in a life of Bliss,

In a Garden on high,

The Fruits whereof (will hang in bunches) low and near.

"Eat ye and drink ye, with full satisfaction; because of the (good) that ye sent before you, in the days that are gone!"

And he that will be given his Record in his left hand, will say: "Ah! Would that my Record had not been given to me!

"And that I had never realised how my account (stood)!

"Ah! Would that (Death) had made an end of me!

"Of no profit to me has been my wealth!

"My power has perished from me!"...

(The stern command will say): "Seize ye him, and bind ye him,

"And burn ye him in the Blazing Fire.

"Further, make him march in a chain, whereof the length is seventy cubits!

"This was he that would not believe in Allah Most High.

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!

"So no friend hath he here this Day.

"Nor hath he any food except the corruption from the washing of wounds,

"Which none do eat but those in sin."

So I do call to witness what ye see,

And what ye see not,

That this is verily the word of an honoured messenger;

It is not the word of a poet: little it is ye believe!

Nor is it the word of a soothsayer: little admonition it is ye receive.

(This is) a Message sent down from the Lord of the Worlds.

And if the messenger were to invent any sayings in Our name,

We should certainly seize him by his right hand,

And We should certainly then cut off the artery of his heart:

Nor could any of you withhold him (from Our wrath).

But verily this is a Message for the Allah-fearing.

And We certainly know that there are amongst you those that reject (it).

But truly (Revelation) is a cause of sorrow for the Unbelievers.

But verily it is Truth of assured certainty.

So glorify the name of thy Lord Most High.

] - Quran 69:1-52

---

Slosher
Oriental, NC

On 10/1/20 11:36 PM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Hi Rob,

I'm so sorry you felt that way.  I know you have had major issues, you have said the same yourself.  I'm always happy to see you come back even after long absences.  You are a brilliant coder and it has been my distinct pleasure to work with you on Cryptography!  Thank you for all you have done and indeed you are responsible for adding significant value to Squeak and the community.  

We all work on code and it's easy to work your ass off on something to make it work and forget where it originated.  We all contribute in large and small ways to everything.  If you started VMMaker thank you!  It is definitely something a lot of us use.  I remember learning all about it a long long time ago before I realized that while I could understand it and I could use it, the people that work on the VM are a level higher than me.  I just make apps!

I remember getting in an argument with Andreas about adding methods to collection.  "WE DON"T NEED more methods in Collection we need to remove most of them and make it easier!" I argued with him about the value over and over but he insisted that they just didn't add enough value.  I could have been put off.  I could have assumed that Andreas didn't like me but I would have been very wrong!  I was really honored to get the chance to work with him and we became great friends.  Of course I added my methods to the code we were working on together and was so thrilled when he used my methods for his own code.

I don't know what happened with VMMaker but again thank you for your participation in it.. I wanted to take a minute to thank you for your work and to let you know it is my honor to work with you too!  I hope that you can come to terms with your past and that you get the help you need for your CPTSD.  

Everything is possible, the past is gone, but the future is still yours to shape.  I wish the past was set in stone but even that moves and slips.  I was talking to my wife about a party we attended: "Remember in 2000 we were at the party and counted down the new year and someone hit the breaker and killed the lights!  We were all talking about what would happen in the year 2000, would everything break!"  Great story except that I hadn't met my wife yet!  The past is only what we remember but the future is something we have control over.  Peace, calm, happyness, they are all hard to come by but they are possible.  I wish you success in finding what makes your future better.

I'm sorry about the bad things that have happened to you in the past.  As far as I'm concerned, you are welcomed here!  

All the best,

Ron Teitelbaum 

On Thu, Oct 1, 2020 at 10:38 PM Robert Withers via Squeak-dev <[hidden email]> wrote:

:sob::sob::sob:

On 10/1/20 10:34 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

I wrote to the #general Squeak Slack channel:

What a complete larcenous bastard. 20 years ago, this month, published it as his own work. And been against me ever since. My CPTSD (100% veteran service-connected) comes with an exquisitely sensitive deception meter. There are those who shunned me and ostracized me and made me feel MOST UNWELCOME. For  20 years. My delusions kick in and I start suspecting back channel communications against me. My love for Squeak conflicted with what I knew was happening. but I hung in there and worked on Cryptography, work with a group of great people and that I am satisfied with its added value to Squeak. For 20 years I KNEW people were against me in the community. I cannot describe how negatively this affected me. My third suicide attempt, in 2007 I jumped off the roof of a 6 story apartment building and broke my back along with many bones. God did not want me to die, yet, so I lived. This deception and ostracism is most well highlighted by the taking credit for my work, without attribution. He is a complete tool. SHAME!

I do not know the degree to which he spoke against me. I imagine it was ever since 2000. Delusions! What is real? I knew not. So much torment! AGONY! They do not welcome me! They are trying to chase me off! Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Severely exacerbated my CPTSD! I kept trying to kill myself because of it! I thought I had done something egregiously wrong. Whatever it was it had to be my fault. I was not feeling the love, even from myself.

:scream:

:scream:

In 2017, 900 units of insulin brought my blood glucose below 40. I almost succeeded that time.

:scream:

rww

On 10/1/20 8:55 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

The worst sort of person is one who takes the credit for the work of
another. Wouldn't you agree?

You may wish to hear John's judgement on the matter. He was right there
when it was first built.

If you are not humble you will be humiliated, and brought low.

rww

On 10/1/20 8:35 PM, tim Rowledge wrote:

On 2020-10-01, at 4:57 PM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev [hidden email] wrote:

I am curious. Who was the original author of the VMMaker Tool?

That would be me; back in exobox days. Written along with the original VMMaker and intended to be an example of clean, tidy, morphic usage. I've no idea if anyone ever uses it now, since running it via scripting has proven more valuable.


tim
--
tim Rowledge; [hidden email]; http://www.rowledge.org/tim
"Wibble" said Pooh the stress beginning to show.

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

I haven't heard from sparky, recently. Has anyone?

Gotta meditate to this entire run! It's deep.

https://soundcloud.com/yusuke-mizushima/acid-jazz-mix-jazzual-suspects

On 10/2/20 2:50 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/rasta

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/mando

On 10/2/20 2:39 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

Play a bit of these spicy beats! The music helps me to express what is on the inside.

https://youtu.be/3q8nGnls1Ow?t=2711

On 10/2/20 2:26 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.

Jeremiah 30:17

On 10/2/20 2:22 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

Thank you for reaching out in this manner on these issues. Though be ye not concerned for my health, Ron, I am in a good place. The sobbing really helps a LOT! And I was brought to that tonight after screaming! And discussing a couple of my many suicide attempts. And realizing the effect my not finding a home with Squeak had affected me over 20 years. It hurts! I sob. All is well; God is Good. The Truth heals. All praise to the Most High!

Kindly,
Rob

On 10/2/20 2:16 AM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Rob,

You have been in this place before.  Is there someone you can talk to for help?  Do you have a connection to someone that is working with you on your issues?  Would you consider calling them now?

I've seen you here before.  I've seen you doing much better.  You should be good to yourself and get help now to move into calmer water and get on a more even keel.  A better future includes protecting yourself, being nice to yourself, and making sure you get help when you need it.

Don't wait until later.  I really recommend you do it now.

Ron

On Fri, Oct 2, 2020 at 1:50 AM Robert Withers <[hidden email]> wrote:

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!"

On 10/2/20 12:21 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

The Hellfire and its occupants, not my problem. I pay no attention. Burn.

I "Will be in a life of bliss, In a Garden on high. The Fruits whereof"...

---

Al Haqqah (69)

[The Sure Reality!

What is the Sure Reality?

And what will make thee realise what the Sure Reality is?

The Thamud and the 'Ad People (branded) as false the Stunning Calamity!

But the Thamud,- they were destroyed by a terrible Storm of thunder and lightning!

And the 'Ad, they were destroyed by a furious Wind, exceedingly violent;

He made it rage against them seven nights and eight days in succession: so that thou couldst see the (whole) people lying prostrate in its (path), as they had been roots of hollow palm-trees tumbled down!

Then seest thou any of them left surviving?

And Pharaoh, and those before him, and the Cities Overthrown, committed habitual Sin.

And disobeyed (each) the messenger of their Lord; so He punished them with an abundant Penalty.

We, when the water (of Noah's Flood) overflowed beyond its limits, carried you (mankind), in the floating (Ark),

That We might make it a Message unto you, and that ears (that should hear the tale and) retain its memory should bear its (lessons) in remembrance.

Then, when one blast is sounded on the Trumpet,

And the earth is moved, and its mountains, and they are crushed to powder at one stroke,-

On that Day shall the (Great) Event come to pass.

And the sky will be rent asunder, for it will that Day be flimsy,

And the angels will be on its sides, and eight will, that Day, bear the Throne of thy Lord above them.

That Day shall ye be brought to Judgment: not an act of yours that ye hide will be hidden.

Then he that will be given his Record in his right hand will say: "Ah here! Read ye my Record!

"I did really understand that my Account would (One Day) reach me!"

And he will be in a life of Bliss,

In a Garden on high,

The Fruits whereof (will hang in bunches) low and near.

"Eat ye and drink ye, with full satisfaction; because of the (good) that ye sent before you, in the days that are gone!"

And he that will be given his Record in his left hand, will say: "Ah! Would that my Record had not been given to me!

"And that I had never realised how my account (stood)!

"Ah! Would that (Death) had made an end of me!

"Of no profit to me has been my wealth!

"My power has perished from me!"...

(The stern command will say): "Seize ye him, and bind ye him,

"And burn ye him in the Blazing Fire.

"Further, make him march in a chain, whereof the length is seventy cubits!

"This was he that would not believe in Allah Most High.

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!

"So no friend hath he here this Day.

"Nor hath he any food except the corruption from the washing of wounds,

"Which none do eat but those in sin."

So I do call to witness what ye see,

And what ye see not,

That this is verily the word of an honoured messenger;

It is not the word of a poet: little it is ye believe!

Nor is it the word of a soothsayer: little admonition it is ye receive.

(This is) a Message sent down from the Lord of the Worlds.

And if the messenger were to invent any sayings in Our name,

We should certainly seize him by his right hand,

And We should certainly then cut off the artery of his heart:

Nor could any of you withhold him (from Our wrath).

But verily this is a Message for the Allah-fearing.

And We certainly know that there are amongst you those that reject (it).

But truly (Revelation) is a cause of sorrow for the Unbelievers.

But verily it is Truth of assured certainty.

So glorify the name of thy Lord Most High.

] - Quran 69:1-52

---

Slosher
Oriental, NC

On 10/1/20 11:36 PM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Hi Rob,

I'm so sorry you felt that way.  I know you have had major issues, you have said the same yourself.  I'm always happy to see you come back even after long absences.  You are a brilliant coder and it has been my distinct pleasure to work with you on Cryptography!  Thank you for all you have done and indeed you are responsible for adding significant value to Squeak and the community.  

We all work on code and it's easy to work your ass off on something to make it work and forget where it originated.  We all contribute in large and small ways to everything.  If you started VMMaker thank you!  It is definitely something a lot of us use.  I remember learning all about it a long long time ago before I realized that while I could understand it and I could use it, the people that work on the VM are a level higher than me.  I just make apps!

I remember getting in an argument with Andreas about adding methods to collection.  "WE DON"T NEED more methods in Collection we need to remove most of them and make it easier!" I argued with him about the value over and over but he insisted that they just didn't add enough value.  I could have been put off.  I could have assumed that Andreas didn't like me but I would have been very wrong!  I was really honored to get the chance to work with him and we became great friends.  Of course I added my methods to the code we were working on together and was so thrilled when he used my methods for his own code.

I don't know what happened with VMMaker but again thank you for your participation in it.. I wanted to take a minute to thank you for your work and to let you know it is my honor to work with you too!  I hope that you can come to terms with your past and that you get the help you need for your CPTSD.  

Everything is possible, the past is gone, but the future is still yours to shape.  I wish the past was set in stone but even that moves and slips.  I was talking to my wife about a party we attended: "Remember in 2000 we were at the party and counted down the new year and someone hit the breaker and killed the lights!  We were all talking about what would happen in the year 2000, would everything break!"  Great story except that I hadn't met my wife yet!  The past is only what we remember but the future is something we have control over.  Peace, calm, happyness, they are all hard to come by but they are possible.  I wish you success in finding what makes your future better.

I'm sorry about the bad things that have happened to you in the past.  As far as I'm concerned, you are welcomed here!  

All the best,

Ron Teitelbaum 

On Thu, Oct 1, 2020 at 10:38 PM Robert Withers via Squeak-dev <[hidden email]> wrote:

:sob::sob::sob:

On 10/1/20 10:34 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

I wrote to the #general Squeak Slack channel:

What a complete larcenous bastard. 20 years ago, this month, published it as his own work. And been against me ever since. My CPTSD (100% veteran service-connected) comes with an exquisitely sensitive deception meter. There are those who shunned me and ostracized me and made me feel MOST UNWELCOME. For  20 years. My delusions kick in and I start suspecting back channel communications against me. My love for Squeak conflicted with what I knew was happening. but I hung in there and worked on Cryptography, work with a group of great people and that I am satisfied with its added value to Squeak. For 20 years I KNEW people were against me in the community. I cannot describe how negatively this affected me. My third suicide attempt, in 2007 I jumped off the roof of a 6 story apartment building and broke my back along with many bones. God did not want me to die, yet, so I lived. This deception and ostracism is most well highlighted by the taking credit for my work, without attribution. He is a complete tool. SHAME!

I do not know the degree to which he spoke against me. I imagine it was ever since 2000. Delusions! What is real? I knew not. So much torment! AGONY! They do not welcome me! They are trying to chase me off! Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Severely exacerbated my CPTSD! I kept trying to kill myself because of it! I thought I had done something egregiously wrong. Whatever it was it had to be my fault. I was not feeling the love, even from myself.

:scream:

:scream:

In 2017, 900 units of insulin brought my blood glucose below 40. I almost succeeded that time.

:scream:

rww

On 10/1/20 8:55 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

The worst sort of person is one who takes the credit for the work of
another. Wouldn't you agree?

You may wish to hear John's judgement on the matter. He was right there
when it was first built.

If you are not humble you will be humiliated, and brought low.

rww

On 10/1/20 8:35 PM, tim Rowledge wrote:

On 2020-10-01, at 4:57 PM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev [hidden email] wrote:

I am curious. Who was the original author of the VMMaker Tool?

That would be me; back in exobox days. Written along with the original VMMaker and intended to be an example of clean, tidy, morphic usage. I've no idea if anyone ever uses it now, since running it via scripting has proven more valuable.


tim
--
tim Rowledge; [hidden email]; http://www.rowledge.org/tim
"Wibble" said Pooh the stress beginning to show.

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

https://youtu.be/goeZZ4KFXTY

I haven't heard from sparky, recently. Has anyone?

On 10/2/20 3:03 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

Gotta meditate to this entire run! It's deep.

https://soundcloud.com/yusuke-mizushima/acid-jazz-mix-jazzual-suspects

On 10/2/20 2:50 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/rasta

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/mando

On 10/2/20 2:39 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

Play a bit of these spicy beats! The music helps me to express what is on the inside.

https://youtu.be/3q8nGnls1Ow?t=2711

On 10/2/20 2:26 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.

Jeremiah 30:17

On 10/2/20 2:22 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

Thank you for reaching out in this manner on these issues. Though be ye not concerned for my health, Ron, I am in a good place. The sobbing really helps a LOT! And I was brought to that tonight after screaming! And discussing a couple of my many suicide attempts. And realizing the effect my not finding a home with Squeak had affected me over 20 years. It hurts! I sob. All is well; God is Good. The Truth heals. All praise to the Most High!

Kindly,
Rob

On 10/2/20 2:16 AM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Rob,

You have been in this place before.  Is there someone you can talk to for help?  Do you have a connection to someone that is working with you on your issues?  Would you consider calling them now?

I've seen you here before.  I've seen you doing much better.  You should be good to yourself and get help now to move into calmer water and get on a more even keel.  A better future includes protecting yourself, being nice to yourself, and making sure you get help when you need it.

Don't wait until later.  I really recommend you do it now.

Ron

On Fri, Oct 2, 2020 at 1:50 AM Robert Withers <[hidden email]> wrote:

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!"

On 10/2/20 12:21 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

The Hellfire and its occupants, not my problem. I pay no attention. Burn.

I "Will be in a life of bliss, In a Garden on high. The Fruits whereof"...

---

Al Haqqah (69)

[The Sure Reality!

What is the Sure Reality?

And what will make thee realise what the Sure Reality is?

The Thamud and the 'Ad People (branded) as false the Stunning Calamity!

But the Thamud,- they were destroyed by a terrible Storm of thunder and lightning!

And the 'Ad, they were destroyed by a furious Wind, exceedingly violent;

He made it rage against them seven nights and eight days in succession: so that thou couldst see the (whole) people lying prostrate in its (path), as they had been roots of hollow palm-trees tumbled down!

Then seest thou any of them left surviving?

And Pharaoh, and those before him, and the Cities Overthrown, committed habitual Sin.

And disobeyed (each) the messenger of their Lord; so He punished them with an abundant Penalty.

We, when the water (of Noah's Flood) overflowed beyond its limits, carried you (mankind), in the floating (Ark),

That We might make it a Message unto you, and that ears (that should hear the tale and) retain its memory should bear its (lessons) in remembrance.

Then, when one blast is sounded on the Trumpet,

And the earth is moved, and its mountains, and they are crushed to powder at one stroke,-

On that Day shall the (Great) Event come to pass.

And the sky will be rent asunder, for it will that Day be flimsy,

And the angels will be on its sides, and eight will, that Day, bear the Throne of thy Lord above them.

That Day shall ye be brought to Judgment: not an act of yours that ye hide will be hidden.

Then he that will be given his Record in his right hand will say: "Ah here! Read ye my Record!

"I did really understand that my Account would (One Day) reach me!"

And he will be in a life of Bliss,

In a Garden on high,

The Fruits whereof (will hang in bunches) low and near.

"Eat ye and drink ye, with full satisfaction; because of the (good) that ye sent before you, in the days that are gone!"

And he that will be given his Record in his left hand, will say: "Ah! Would that my Record had not been given to me!

"And that I had never realised how my account (stood)!

"Ah! Would that (Death) had made an end of me!

"Of no profit to me has been my wealth!

"My power has perished from me!"...

(The stern command will say): "Seize ye him, and bind ye him,

"And burn ye him in the Blazing Fire.

"Further, make him march in a chain, whereof the length is seventy cubits!

"This was he that would not believe in Allah Most High.

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!

"So no friend hath he here this Day.

"Nor hath he any food except the corruption from the washing of wounds,

"Which none do eat but those in sin."

So I do call to witness what ye see,

And what ye see not,

That this is verily the word of an honoured messenger;

It is not the word of a poet: little it is ye believe!

Nor is it the word of a soothsayer: little admonition it is ye receive.

(This is) a Message sent down from the Lord of the Worlds.

And if the messenger were to invent any sayings in Our name,

We should certainly seize him by his right hand,

And We should certainly then cut off the artery of his heart:

Nor could any of you withhold him (from Our wrath).

But verily this is a Message for the Allah-fearing.

And We certainly know that there are amongst you those that reject (it).

But truly (Revelation) is a cause of sorrow for the Unbelievers.

But verily it is Truth of assured certainty.

So glorify the name of thy Lord Most High.

] - Quran 69:1-52

---

Slosher
Oriental, NC

On 10/1/20 11:36 PM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Hi Rob,

I'm so sorry you felt that way.  I know you have had major issues, you have said the same yourself.  I'm always happy to see you come back even after long absences.  You are a brilliant coder and it has been my distinct pleasure to work with you on Cryptography!  Thank you for all you have done and indeed you are responsible for adding significant value to Squeak and the community.  

We all work on code and it's easy to work your ass off on something to make it work and forget where it originated.  We all contribute in large and small ways to everything.  If you started VMMaker thank you!  It is definitely something a lot of us use.  I remember learning all about it a long long time ago before I realized that while I could understand it and I could use it, the people that work on the VM are a level higher than me.  I just make apps!

I remember getting in an argument with Andreas about adding methods to collection.  "WE DON"T NEED more methods in Collection we need to remove most of them and make it easier!" I argued with him about the value over and over but he insisted that they just didn't add enough value.  I could have been put off.  I could have assumed that Andreas didn't like me but I would have been very wrong!  I was really honored to get the chance to work with him and we became great friends.  Of course I added my methods to the code we were working on together and was so thrilled when he used my methods for his own code.

I don't know what happened with VMMaker but again thank you for your participation in it.. I wanted to take a minute to thank you for your work and to let you know it is my honor to work with you too!  I hope that you can come to terms with your past and that you get the help you need for your CPTSD.  

Everything is possible, the past is gone, but the future is still yours to shape.  I wish the past was set in stone but even that moves and slips.  I was talking to my wife about a party we attended: "Remember in 2000 we were at the party and counted down the new year and someone hit the breaker and killed the lights!  We were all talking about what would happen in the year 2000, would everything break!"  Great story except that I hadn't met my wife yet!  The past is only what we remember but the future is something we have control over.  Peace, calm, happyness, they are all hard to come by but they are possible.  I wish you success in finding what makes your future better.

I'm sorry about the bad things that have happened to you in the past.  As far as I'm concerned, you are welcomed here!  

All the best,

Ron Teitelbaum 

On Thu, Oct 1, 2020 at 10:38 PM Robert Withers via Squeak-dev <[hidden email]> wrote:

:sob::sob::sob:

On 10/1/20 10:34 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

I wrote to the #general Squeak Slack channel:

What a complete larcenous bastard. 20 years ago, this month, published it as his own work. And been against me ever since. My CPTSD (100% veteran service-connected) comes with an exquisitely sensitive deception meter. There are those who shunned me and ostracized me and made me feel MOST UNWELCOME. For  20 years. My delusions kick in and I start suspecting back channel communications against me. My love for Squeak conflicted with what I knew was happening. but I hung in there and worked on Cryptography, work with a group of great people and that I am satisfied with its added value to Squeak. For 20 years I KNEW people were against me in the community. I cannot describe how negatively this affected me. My third suicide attempt, in 2007 I jumped off the roof of a 6 story apartment building and broke my back along with many bones. God did not want me to die, yet, so I lived. This deception and ostracism is most well highlighted by the taking credit for my work, without attribution. He is a complete tool. SHAME!

I do not know the degree to which he spoke against me. I imagine it was ever since 2000. Delusions! What is real? I knew not. So much torment! AGONY! They do not welcome me! They are trying to chase me off! Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Severely exacerbated my CPTSD! I kept trying to kill myself because of it! I thought I had done something egregiously wrong. Whatever it was it had to be my fault. I was not feeling the love, even from myself.

:scream:

:scream:

In 2017, 900 units of insulin brought my blood glucose below 40. I almost succeeded that time.

:scream:

rww

On 10/1/20 8:55 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

The worst sort of person is one who takes the credit for the work of
another. Wouldn't you agree?

You may wish to hear John's judgement on the matter. He was right there
when it was first built.

If you are not humble you will be humiliated, and brought low.

rww

On 10/1/20 8:35 PM, tim Rowledge wrote:

On 2020-10-01, at 4:57 PM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev [hidden email] wrote:

I am curious. Who was the original author of the VMMaker Tool?

That would be me; back in exobox days. Written along with the original VMMaker and intended to be an example of clean, tidy, morphic usage. I've no idea if anyone ever uses it now, since running it via scripting has proven more valuable.


tim
--
tim Rowledge; [hidden email]; http://www.rowledge.org/tim
"Wibble" said Pooh the stress beginning to show.

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

https://youtu.be/q7p-ihYOG5s

https://youtu.be/goeZZ4KFXTY

On 10/2/20 3:07 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

I haven't heard from sparky, recently. Has anyone?

On 10/2/20 3:03 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

Gotta meditate to this entire run! It's deep.

https://soundcloud.com/yusuke-mizushima/acid-jazz-mix-jazzual-suspects

On 10/2/20 2:50 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/rasta

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/mando

On 10/2/20 2:39 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

Play a bit of these spicy beats! The music helps me to express what is on the inside.

https://youtu.be/3q8nGnls1Ow?t=2711

On 10/2/20 2:26 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.

Jeremiah 30:17

On 10/2/20 2:22 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

Thank you for reaching out in this manner on these issues. Though be ye not concerned for my health, Ron, I am in a good place. The sobbing really helps a LOT! And I was brought to that tonight after screaming! And discussing a couple of my many suicide attempts. And realizing the effect my not finding a home with Squeak had affected me over 20 years. It hurts! I sob. All is well; God is Good. The Truth heals. All praise to the Most High!

Kindly,
Rob

On 10/2/20 2:16 AM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Rob,

You have been in this place before.  Is there someone you can talk to for help?  Do you have a connection to someone that is working with you on your issues?  Would you consider calling them now?

I've seen you here before.  I've seen you doing much better.  You should be good to yourself and get help now to move into calmer water and get on a more even keel.  A better future includes protecting yourself, being nice to yourself, and making sure you get help when you need it.

Don't wait until later.  I really recommend you do it now.

Ron

On Fri, Oct 2, 2020 at 1:50 AM Robert Withers <[hidden email]> wrote:

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!"

On 10/2/20 12:21 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

The Hellfire and its occupants, not my problem. I pay no attention. Burn.

I "Will be in a life of bliss, In a Garden on high. The Fruits whereof"...

---

Al Haqqah (69)

[The Sure Reality!

What is the Sure Reality?

And what will make thee realise what the Sure Reality is?

The Thamud and the 'Ad People (branded) as false the Stunning Calamity!

But the Thamud,- they were destroyed by a terrible Storm of thunder and lightning!

And the 'Ad, they were destroyed by a furious Wind, exceedingly violent;

He made it rage against them seven nights and eight days in succession: so that thou couldst see the (whole) people lying prostrate in its (path), as they had been roots of hollow palm-trees tumbled down!

Then seest thou any of them left surviving?

And Pharaoh, and those before him, and the Cities Overthrown, committed habitual Sin.

And disobeyed (each) the messenger of their Lord; so He punished them with an abundant Penalty.

We, when the water (of Noah's Flood) overflowed beyond its limits, carried you (mankind), in the floating (Ark),

That We might make it a Message unto you, and that ears (that should hear the tale and) retain its memory should bear its (lessons) in remembrance.

Then, when one blast is sounded on the Trumpet,

And the earth is moved, and its mountains, and they are crushed to powder at one stroke,-

On that Day shall the (Great) Event come to pass.

And the sky will be rent asunder, for it will that Day be flimsy,

And the angels will be on its sides, and eight will, that Day, bear the Throne of thy Lord above them.

That Day shall ye be brought to Judgment: not an act of yours that ye hide will be hidden.

Then he that will be given his Record in his right hand will say: "Ah here! Read ye my Record!

"I did really understand that my Account would (One Day) reach me!"

And he will be in a life of Bliss,

In a Garden on high,

The Fruits whereof (will hang in bunches) low and near.

"Eat ye and drink ye, with full satisfaction; because of the (good) that ye sent before you, in the days that are gone!"

And he that will be given his Record in his left hand, will say: "Ah! Would that my Record had not been given to me!

"And that I had never realised how my account (stood)!

"Ah! Would that (Death) had made an end of me!

"Of no profit to me has been my wealth!

"My power has perished from me!"...

(The stern command will say): "Seize ye him, and bind ye him,

"And burn ye him in the Blazing Fire.

"Further, make him march in a chain, whereof the length is seventy cubits!

"This was he that would not believe in Allah Most High.

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!

"So no friend hath he here this Day.

"Nor hath he any food except the corruption from the washing of wounds,

"Which none do eat but those in sin."

So I do call to witness what ye see,

And what ye see not,

That this is verily the word of an honoured messenger;

It is not the word of a poet: little it is ye believe!

Nor is it the word of a soothsayer: little admonition it is ye receive.

(This is) a Message sent down from the Lord of the Worlds.

And if the messenger were to invent any sayings in Our name,

We should certainly seize him by his right hand,

And We should certainly then cut off the artery of his heart:

Nor could any of you withhold him (from Our wrath).

But verily this is a Message for the Allah-fearing.

And We certainly know that there are amongst you those that reject (it).

But truly (Revelation) is a cause of sorrow for the Unbelievers.

But verily it is Truth of assured certainty.

So glorify the name of thy Lord Most High.

] - Quran 69:1-52

---

Slosher
Oriental, NC

On 10/1/20 11:36 PM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Hi Rob,

I'm so sorry you felt that way.  I know you have had major issues, you have said the same yourself.  I'm always happy to see you come back even after long absences.  You are a brilliant coder and it has been my distinct pleasure to work with you on Cryptography!  Thank you for all you have done and indeed you are responsible for adding significant value to Squeak and the community.  

We all work on code and it's easy to work your ass off on something to make it work and forget where it originated.  We all contribute in large and small ways to everything.  If you started VMMaker thank you!  It is definitely something a lot of us use.  I remember learning all about it a long long time ago before I realized that while I could understand it and I could use it, the people that work on the VM are a level higher than me.  I just make apps!

I remember getting in an argument with Andreas about adding methods to collection.  "WE DON"T NEED more methods in Collection we need to remove most of them and make it easier!" I argued with him about the value over and over but he insisted that they just didn't add enough value.  I could have been put off.  I could have assumed that Andreas didn't like me but I would have been very wrong!  I was really honored to get the chance to work with him and we became great friends.  Of course I added my methods to the code we were working on together and was so thrilled when he used my methods for his own code.

I don't know what happened with VMMaker but again thank you for your participation in it.. I wanted to take a minute to thank you for your work and to let you know it is my honor to work with you too!  I hope that you can come to terms with your past and that you get the help you need for your CPTSD.  

Everything is possible, the past is gone, but the future is still yours to shape.  I wish the past was set in stone but even that moves and slips.  I was talking to my wife about a party we attended: "Remember in 2000 we were at the party and counted down the new year and someone hit the breaker and killed the lights!  We were all talking about what would happen in the year 2000, would everything break!"  Great story except that I hadn't met my wife yet!  The past is only what we remember but the future is something we have control over.  Peace, calm, happyness, they are all hard to come by but they are possible.  I wish you success in finding what makes your future better.

I'm sorry about the bad things that have happened to you in the past.  As far as I'm concerned, you are welcomed here!  

All the best,

Ron Teitelbaum 

On Thu, Oct 1, 2020 at 10:38 PM Robert Withers via Squeak-dev <[hidden email]> wrote:

:sob::sob::sob:

On 10/1/20 10:34 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

I wrote to the #general Squeak Slack channel:

What a complete larcenous bastard. 20 years ago, this month, published it as his own work. And been against me ever since. My CPTSD (100% veteran service-connected) comes with an exquisitely sensitive deception meter. There are those who shunned me and ostracized me and made me feel MOST UNWELCOME. For  20 years. My delusions kick in and I start suspecting back channel communications against me. My love for Squeak conflicted with what I knew was happening. but I hung in there and worked on Cryptography, work with a group of great people and that I am satisfied with its added value to Squeak. For 20 years I KNEW people were against me in the community. I cannot describe how negatively this affected me. My third suicide attempt, in 2007 I jumped off the roof of a 6 story apartment building and broke my back along with many bones. God did not want me to die, yet, so I lived. This deception and ostracism is most well highlighted by the taking credit for my work, without attribution. He is a complete tool. SHAME!

I do not know the degree to which he spoke against me. I imagine it was ever since 2000. Delusions! What is real? I knew not. So much torment! AGONY! They do not welcome me! They are trying to chase me off! Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Severely exacerbated my CPTSD! I kept trying to kill myself because of it! I thought I had done something egregiously wrong. Whatever it was it had to be my fault. I was not feeling the love, even from myself.

:scream:

:scream:

In 2017, 900 units of insulin brought my blood glucose below 40. I almost succeeded that time.

:scream:

rww

On 10/1/20 8:55 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

The worst sort of person is one who takes the credit for the work of
another. Wouldn't you agree?

You may wish to hear John's judgement on the matter. He was right there
when it was first built.

If you are not humble you will be humiliated, and brought low.

rww

On 10/1/20 8:35 PM, tim Rowledge wrote:

On 2020-10-01, at 4:57 PM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev [hidden email] wrote:

I am curious. Who was the original author of the VMMaker Tool?

That would be me; back in exobox days. Written along with the original VMMaker and intended to be an example of clean, tidy, morphic usage. I've no idea if anyone ever uses it now, since running it via scripting has proven more valuable.


tim
--
tim Rowledge; [hidden email]; http://www.rowledge.org/tim
"Wibble" said Pooh the stress beginning to show.

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

https://youtu.be/8c8_DEtMUOM

https://youtu.be/q7p-ihYOG5s

On 10/2/20 3:16 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/goeZZ4KFXTY

On 10/2/20 3:07 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

I haven't heard from sparky, recently. Has anyone?

On 10/2/20 3:03 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

Gotta meditate to this entire run! It's deep.

https://soundcloud.com/yusuke-mizushima/acid-jazz-mix-jazzual-suspects

On 10/2/20 2:50 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/rasta

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/mando

On 10/2/20 2:39 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

Play a bit of these spicy beats! The music helps me to express what is on the inside.

https://youtu.be/3q8nGnls1Ow?t=2711

On 10/2/20 2:26 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.

Jeremiah 30:17

On 10/2/20 2:22 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

Thank you for reaching out in this manner on these issues. Though be ye not concerned for my health, Ron, I am in a good place. The sobbing really helps a LOT! And I was brought to that tonight after screaming! And discussing a couple of my many suicide attempts. And realizing the effect my not finding a home with Squeak had affected me over 20 years. It hurts! I sob. All is well; God is Good. The Truth heals. All praise to the Most High!

Kindly,
Rob

On 10/2/20 2:16 AM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Rob,

You have been in this place before.  Is there someone you can talk to for help?  Do you have a connection to someone that is working with you on your issues?  Would you consider calling them now?

I've seen you here before.  I've seen you doing much better.  You should be good to yourself and get help now to move into calmer water and get on a more even keel.  A better future includes protecting yourself, being nice to yourself, and making sure you get help when you need it.

Don't wait until later.  I really recommend you do it now.

Ron

On Fri, Oct 2, 2020 at 1:50 AM Robert Withers <[hidden email]> wrote:

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!"

On 10/2/20 12:21 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

The Hellfire and its occupants, not my problem. I pay no attention. Burn.

I "Will be in a life of bliss, In a Garden on high. The Fruits whereof"...

---

Al Haqqah (69)

[The Sure Reality!

What is the Sure Reality?

And what will make thee realise what the Sure Reality is?

The Thamud and the 'Ad People (branded) as false the Stunning Calamity!

But the Thamud,- they were destroyed by a terrible Storm of thunder and lightning!

And the 'Ad, they were destroyed by a furious Wind, exceedingly violent;

He made it rage against them seven nights and eight days in succession: so that thou couldst see the (whole) people lying prostrate in its (path), as they had been roots of hollow palm-trees tumbled down!

Then seest thou any of them left surviving?

And Pharaoh, and those before him, and the Cities Overthrown, committed habitual Sin.

And disobeyed (each) the messenger of their Lord; so He punished them with an abundant Penalty.

We, when the water (of Noah's Flood) overflowed beyond its limits, carried you (mankind), in the floating (Ark),

That We might make it a Message unto you, and that ears (that should hear the tale and) retain its memory should bear its (lessons) in remembrance.

Then, when one blast is sounded on the Trumpet,

And the earth is moved, and its mountains, and they are crushed to powder at one stroke,-

On that Day shall the (Great) Event come to pass.

And the sky will be rent asunder, for it will that Day be flimsy,

And the angels will be on its sides, and eight will, that Day, bear the Throne of thy Lord above them.

That Day shall ye be brought to Judgment: not an act of yours that ye hide will be hidden.

Then he that will be given his Record in his right hand will say: "Ah here! Read ye my Record!

"I did really understand that my Account would (One Day) reach me!"

And he will be in a life of Bliss,

In a Garden on high,

The Fruits whereof (will hang in bunches) low and near.

"Eat ye and drink ye, with full satisfaction; because of the (good) that ye sent before you, in the days that are gone!"

And he that will be given his Record in his left hand, will say: "Ah! Would that my Record had not been given to me!

"And that I had never realised how my account (stood)!

"Ah! Would that (Death) had made an end of me!

"Of no profit to me has been my wealth!

"My power has perished from me!"...

(The stern command will say): "Seize ye him, and bind ye him,

"And burn ye him in the Blazing Fire.

"Further, make him march in a chain, whereof the length is seventy cubits!

"This was he that would not believe in Allah Most High.

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!

"So no friend hath he here this Day.

"Nor hath he any food except the corruption from the washing of wounds,

"Which none do eat but those in sin."

So I do call to witness what ye see,

And what ye see not,

That this is verily the word of an honoured messenger;

It is not the word of a poet: little it is ye believe!

Nor is it the word of a soothsayer: little admonition it is ye receive.

(This is) a Message sent down from the Lord of the Worlds.

And if the messenger were to invent any sayings in Our name,

We should certainly seize him by his right hand,

And We should certainly then cut off the artery of his heart:

Nor could any of you withhold him (from Our wrath).

But verily this is a Message for the Allah-fearing.

And We certainly know that there are amongst you those that reject (it).

But truly (Revelation) is a cause of sorrow for the Unbelievers.

But verily it is Truth of assured certainty.

So glorify the name of thy Lord Most High.

] - Quran 69:1-52

---

Slosher
Oriental, NC

On 10/1/20 11:36 PM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Hi Rob,

I'm so sorry you felt that way.  I know you have had major issues, you have said the same yourself.  I'm always happy to see you come back even after long absences.  You are a brilliant coder and it has been my distinct pleasure to work with you on Cryptography!  Thank you for all you have done and indeed you are responsible for adding significant value to Squeak and the community.  

We all work on code and it's easy to work your ass off on something to make it work and forget where it originated.  We all contribute in large and small ways to everything.  If you started VMMaker thank you!  It is definitely something a lot of us use.  I remember learning all about it a long long time ago before I realized that while I could understand it and I could use it, the people that work on the VM are a level higher than me.  I just make apps!

I remember getting in an argument with Andreas about adding methods to collection.  "WE DON"T NEED more methods in Collection we need to remove most of them and make it easier!" I argued with him about the value over and over but he insisted that they just didn't add enough value.  I could have been put off.  I could have assumed that Andreas didn't like me but I would have been very wrong!  I was really honored to get the chance to work with him and we became great friends.  Of course I added my methods to the code we were working on together and was so thrilled when he used my methods for his own code.

I don't know what happened with VMMaker but again thank you for your participation in it.. I wanted to take a minute to thank you for your work and to let you know it is my honor to work with you too!  I hope that you can come to terms with your past and that you get the help you need for your CPTSD.  

Everything is possible, the past is gone, but the future is still yours to shape.  I wish the past was set in stone but even that moves and slips.  I was talking to my wife about a party we attended: "Remember in 2000 we were at the party and counted down the new year and someone hit the breaker and killed the lights!  We were all talking about what would happen in the year 2000, would everything break!"  Great story except that I hadn't met my wife yet!  The past is only what we remember but the future is something we have control over.  Peace, calm, happyness, they are all hard to come by but they are possible.  I wish you success in finding what makes your future better.

I'm sorry about the bad things that have happened to you in the past.  As far as I'm concerned, you are welcomed here!  

All the best,

Ron Teitelbaum 

On Thu, Oct 1, 2020 at 10:38 PM Robert Withers via Squeak-dev <[hidden email]> wrote:

:sob::sob::sob:

On 10/1/20 10:34 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

I wrote to the #general Squeak Slack channel:

What a complete larcenous bastard. 20 years ago, this month, published it as his own work. And been against me ever since. My CPTSD (100% veteran service-connected) comes with an exquisitely sensitive deception meter. There are those who shunned me and ostracized me and made me feel MOST UNWELCOME. For  20 years. My delusions kick in and I start suspecting back channel communications against me. My love for Squeak conflicted with what I knew was happening. but I hung in there and worked on Cryptography, work with a group of great people and that I am satisfied with its added value to Squeak. For 20 years I KNEW people were against me in the community. I cannot describe how negatively this affected me. My third suicide attempt, in 2007 I jumped off the roof of a 6 story apartment building and broke my back along with many bones. God did not want me to die, yet, so I lived. This deception and ostracism is most well highlighted by the taking credit for my work, without attribution. He is a complete tool. SHAME!

I do not know the degree to which he spoke against me. I imagine it was ever since 2000. Delusions! What is real? I knew not. So much torment! AGONY! They do not welcome me! They are trying to chase me off! Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Severely exacerbated my CPTSD! I kept trying to kill myself because of it! I thought I had done something egregiously wrong. Whatever it was it had to be my fault. I was not feeling the love, even from myself.

:scream:

:scream:

In 2017, 900 units of insulin brought my blood glucose below 40. I almost succeeded that time.

:scream:

rww

On 10/1/20 8:55 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

The worst sort of person is one who takes the credit for the work of
another. Wouldn't you agree?

You may wish to hear John's judgement on the matter. He was right there
when it was first built.

If you are not humble you will be humiliated, and brought low.

rww

On 10/1/20 8:35 PM, tim Rowledge wrote:

On 2020-10-01, at 4:57 PM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev [hidden email] wrote:

I am curious. Who was the original author of the VMMaker Tool?

That would be me; back in exobox days. Written along with the original VMMaker and intended to be an example of clean, tidy, morphic usage. I've no idea if anyone ever uses it now, since running it via scripting has proven more valuable.


tim
--
tim Rowledge; [hidden email]; http://www.rowledge.org/tim
"Wibble" said Pooh the stress beginning to show.

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

https://youtu.be/a-mAK3uB2_0

https://youtu.be/8c8_DEtMUOM

On 10/2/20 3:23 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/q7p-ihYOG5s

On 10/2/20 3:16 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/goeZZ4KFXTY

On 10/2/20 3:07 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

I haven't heard from sparky, recently. Has anyone?

On 10/2/20 3:03 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

Gotta meditate to this entire run! It's deep.

https://soundcloud.com/yusuke-mizushima/acid-jazz-mix-jazzual-suspects

On 10/2/20 2:50 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/rasta

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/mando

On 10/2/20 2:39 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

Play a bit of these spicy beats! The music helps me to express what is on the inside.

https://youtu.be/3q8nGnls1Ow?t=2711

On 10/2/20 2:26 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.

Jeremiah 30:17

On 10/2/20 2:22 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

Thank you for reaching out in this manner on these issues. Though be ye not concerned for my health, Ron, I am in a good place. The sobbing really helps a LOT! And I was brought to that tonight after screaming! And discussing a couple of my many suicide attempts. And realizing the effect my not finding a home with Squeak had affected me over 20 years. It hurts! I sob. All is well; God is Good. The Truth heals. All praise to the Most High!

Kindly,
Rob

On 10/2/20 2:16 AM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Rob,

You have been in this place before.  Is there someone you can talk to for help?  Do you have a connection to someone that is working with you on your issues?  Would you consider calling them now?

I've seen you here before.  I've seen you doing much better.  You should be good to yourself and get help now to move into calmer water and get on a more even keel.  A better future includes protecting yourself, being nice to yourself, and making sure you get help when you need it.

Don't wait until later.  I really recommend you do it now.

Ron

On Fri, Oct 2, 2020 at 1:50 AM Robert Withers <[hidden email]> wrote:

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!"

On 10/2/20 12:21 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

The Hellfire and its occupants, not my problem. I pay no attention. Burn.

I "Will be in a life of bliss, In a Garden on high. The Fruits whereof"...

---

Al Haqqah (69)

[The Sure Reality!

What is the Sure Reality?

And what will make thee realise what the Sure Reality is?

The Thamud and the 'Ad People (branded) as false the Stunning Calamity!

But the Thamud,- they were destroyed by a terrible Storm of thunder and lightning!

And the 'Ad, they were destroyed by a furious Wind, exceedingly violent;

He made it rage against them seven nights and eight days in succession: so that thou couldst see the (whole) people lying prostrate in its (path), as they had been roots of hollow palm-trees tumbled down!

Then seest thou any of them left surviving?

And Pharaoh, and those before him, and the Cities Overthrown, committed habitual Sin.

And disobeyed (each) the messenger of their Lord; so He punished them with an abundant Penalty.

We, when the water (of Noah's Flood) overflowed beyond its limits, carried you (mankind), in the floating (Ark),

That We might make it a Message unto you, and that ears (that should hear the tale and) retain its memory should bear its (lessons) in remembrance.

Then, when one blast is sounded on the Trumpet,

And the earth is moved, and its mountains, and they are crushed to powder at one stroke,-

On that Day shall the (Great) Event come to pass.

And the sky will be rent asunder, for it will that Day be flimsy,

And the angels will be on its sides, and eight will, that Day, bear the Throne of thy Lord above them.

That Day shall ye be brought to Judgment: not an act of yours that ye hide will be hidden.

Then he that will be given his Record in his right hand will say: "Ah here! Read ye my Record!

"I did really understand that my Account would (One Day) reach me!"

And he will be in a life of Bliss,

In a Garden on high,

The Fruits whereof (will hang in bunches) low and near.

"Eat ye and drink ye, with full satisfaction; because of the (good) that ye sent before you, in the days that are gone!"

And he that will be given his Record in his left hand, will say: "Ah! Would that my Record had not been given to me!

"And that I had never realised how my account (stood)!

"Ah! Would that (Death) had made an end of me!

"Of no profit to me has been my wealth!

"My power has perished from me!"...

(The stern command will say): "Seize ye him, and bind ye him,

"And burn ye him in the Blazing Fire.

"Further, make him march in a chain, whereof the length is seventy cubits!

"This was he that would not believe in Allah Most High.

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!

"So no friend hath he here this Day.

"Nor hath he any food except the corruption from the washing of wounds,

"Which none do eat but those in sin."

So I do call to witness what ye see,

And what ye see not,

That this is verily the word of an honoured messenger;

It is not the word of a poet: little it is ye believe!

Nor is it the word of a soothsayer: little admonition it is ye receive.

(This is) a Message sent down from the Lord of the Worlds.

And if the messenger were to invent any sayings in Our name,

We should certainly seize him by his right hand,

And We should certainly then cut off the artery of his heart:

Nor could any of you withhold him (from Our wrath).

But verily this is a Message for the Allah-fearing.

And We certainly know that there are amongst you those that reject (it).

But truly (Revelation) is a cause of sorrow for the Unbelievers.

But verily it is Truth of assured certainty.

So glorify the name of thy Lord Most High.

] - Quran 69:1-52

---

Slosher
Oriental, NC

On 10/1/20 11:36 PM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Hi Rob,

I'm so sorry you felt that way.  I know you have had major issues, you have said the same yourself.  I'm always happy to see you come back even after long absences.  You are a brilliant coder and it has been my distinct pleasure to work with you on Cryptography!  Thank you for all you have done and indeed you are responsible for adding significant value to Squeak and the community.  

We all work on code and it's easy to work your ass off on something to make it work and forget where it originated.  We all contribute in large and small ways to everything.  If you started VMMaker thank you!  It is definitely something a lot of us use.  I remember learning all about it a long long time ago before I realized that while I could understand it and I could use it, the people that work on the VM are a level higher than me.  I just make apps!

I remember getting in an argument with Andreas about adding methods to collection.  "WE DON"T NEED more methods in Collection we need to remove most of them and make it easier!" I argued with him about the value over and over but he insisted that they just didn't add enough value.  I could have been put off.  I could have assumed that Andreas didn't like me but I would have been very wrong!  I was really honored to get the chance to work with him and we became great friends.  Of course I added my methods to the code we were working on together and was so thrilled when he used my methods for his own code.

I don't know what happened with VMMaker but again thank you for your participation in it.. I wanted to take a minute to thank you for your work and to let you know it is my honor to work with you too!  I hope that you can come to terms with your past and that you get the help you need for your CPTSD.  

Everything is possible, the past is gone, but the future is still yours to shape.  I wish the past was set in stone but even that moves and slips.  I was talking to my wife about a party we attended: "Remember in 2000 we were at the party and counted down the new year and someone hit the breaker and killed the lights!  We were all talking about what would happen in the year 2000, would everything break!"  Great story except that I hadn't met my wife yet!  The past is only what we remember but the future is something we have control over.  Peace, calm, happyness, they are all hard to come by but they are possible.  I wish you success in finding what makes your future better.

I'm sorry about the bad things that have happened to you in the past.  As far as I'm concerned, you are welcomed here!  

All the best,

Ron Teitelbaum 

On Thu, Oct 1, 2020 at 10:38 PM Robert Withers via Squeak-dev <[hidden email]> wrote:

:sob::sob::sob:

On 10/1/20 10:34 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

I wrote to the #general Squeak Slack channel:

What a complete larcenous bastard. 20 years ago, this month, published it as his own work. And been against me ever since. My CPTSD (100% veteran service-connected) comes with an exquisitely sensitive deception meter. There are those who shunned me and ostracized me and made me feel MOST UNWELCOME. For  20 years. My delusions kick in and I start suspecting back channel communications against me. My love for Squeak conflicted with what I knew was happening. but I hung in there and worked on Cryptography, work with a group of great people and that I am satisfied with its added value to Squeak. For 20 years I KNEW people were against me in the community. I cannot describe how negatively this affected me. My third suicide attempt, in 2007 I jumped off the roof of a 6 story apartment building and broke my back along with many bones. God did not want me to die, yet, so I lived. This deception and ostracism is most well highlighted by the taking credit for my work, without attribution. He is a complete tool. SHAME!

I do not know the degree to which he spoke against me. I imagine it was ever since 2000. Delusions! What is real? I knew not. So much torment! AGONY! They do not welcome me! They are trying to chase me off! Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Severely exacerbated my CPTSD! I kept trying to kill myself because of it! I thought I had done something egregiously wrong. Whatever it was it had to be my fault. I was not feeling the love, even from myself.

:scream:

:scream:

In 2017, 900 units of insulin brought my blood glucose below 40. I almost succeeded that time.

:scream:

rww

On 10/1/20 8:55 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

The worst sort of person is one who takes the credit for the work of
another. Wouldn't you agree?

You may wish to hear John's judgement on the matter. He was right there
when it was first built.

If you are not humble you will be humiliated, and brought low.

rww

On 10/1/20 8:35 PM, tim Rowledge wrote:

On 2020-10-01, at 4:57 PM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev [hidden email] wrote:

I am curious. Who was the original author of the VMMaker Tool?

That would be me; back in exobox days. Written along with the original VMMaker and intended to be an example of clean, tidy, morphic usage. I've no idea if anyone ever uses it now, since running it via scripting has proven more valuable.


tim
--
tim Rowledge; [hidden email]; http://www.rowledge.org/tim
"Wibble" said Pooh the stress beginning to show.

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

https://youtu.be/3GLf-VT4wbY

https://youtu.be/a-mAK3uB2_0

On 10/2/20 3:24 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/8c8_DEtMUOM

On 10/2/20 3:23 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/q7p-ihYOG5s

On 10/2/20 3:16 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/goeZZ4KFXTY

On 10/2/20 3:07 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

I haven't heard from sparky, recently. Has anyone?

On 10/2/20 3:03 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

Gotta meditate to this entire run! It's deep.

https://soundcloud.com/yusuke-mizushima/acid-jazz-mix-jazzual-suspects

On 10/2/20 2:50 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/rasta

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/mando

On 10/2/20 2:39 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

Play a bit of these spicy beats! The music helps me to express what is on the inside.

https://youtu.be/3q8nGnls1Ow?t=2711

On 10/2/20 2:26 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.

Jeremiah 30:17

On 10/2/20 2:22 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

Thank you for reaching out in this manner on these issues. Though be ye not concerned for my health, Ron, I am in a good place. The sobbing really helps a LOT! And I was brought to that tonight after screaming! And discussing a couple of my many suicide attempts. And realizing the effect my not finding a home with Squeak had affected me over 20 years. It hurts! I sob. All is well; God is Good. The Truth heals. All praise to the Most High!

Kindly,
Rob

On 10/2/20 2:16 AM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Rob,

You have been in this place before.  Is there someone you can talk to for help?  Do you have a connection to someone that is working with you on your issues?  Would you consider calling them now?

I've seen you here before.  I've seen you doing much better.  You should be good to yourself and get help now to move into calmer water and get on a more even keel.  A better future includes protecting yourself, being nice to yourself, and making sure you get help when you need it.

Don't wait until later.  I really recommend you do it now.

Ron

On Fri, Oct 2, 2020 at 1:50 AM Robert Withers <[hidden email]> wrote:

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!"

On 10/2/20 12:21 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

The Hellfire and its occupants, not my problem. I pay no attention. Burn.

I "Will be in a life of bliss, In a Garden on high. The Fruits whereof"...

---

Al Haqqah (69)

[The Sure Reality!

What is the Sure Reality?

And what will make thee realise what the Sure Reality is?

The Thamud and the 'Ad People (branded) as false the Stunning Calamity!

But the Thamud,- they were destroyed by a terrible Storm of thunder and lightning!

And the 'Ad, they were destroyed by a furious Wind, exceedingly violent;

He made it rage against them seven nights and eight days in succession: so that thou couldst see the (whole) people lying prostrate in its (path), as they had been roots of hollow palm-trees tumbled down!

Then seest thou any of them left surviving?

And Pharaoh, and those before him, and the Cities Overthrown, committed habitual Sin.

And disobeyed (each) the messenger of their Lord; so He punished them with an abundant Penalty.

We, when the water (of Noah's Flood) overflowed beyond its limits, carried you (mankind), in the floating (Ark),

That We might make it a Message unto you, and that ears (that should hear the tale and) retain its memory should bear its (lessons) in remembrance.

Then, when one blast is sounded on the Trumpet,

And the earth is moved, and its mountains, and they are crushed to powder at one stroke,-

On that Day shall the (Great) Event come to pass.

And the sky will be rent asunder, for it will that Day be flimsy,

And the angels will be on its sides, and eight will, that Day, bear the Throne of thy Lord above them.

That Day shall ye be brought to Judgment: not an act of yours that ye hide will be hidden.

Then he that will be given his Record in his right hand will say: "Ah here! Read ye my Record!

"I did really understand that my Account would (One Day) reach me!"

And he will be in a life of Bliss,

In a Garden on high,

The Fruits whereof (will hang in bunches) low and near.

"Eat ye and drink ye, with full satisfaction; because of the (good) that ye sent before you, in the days that are gone!"

And he that will be given his Record in his left hand, will say: "Ah! Would that my Record had not been given to me!

"And that I had never realised how my account (stood)!

"Ah! Would that (Death) had made an end of me!

"Of no profit to me has been my wealth!

"My power has perished from me!"...

(The stern command will say): "Seize ye him, and bind ye him,

"And burn ye him in the Blazing Fire.

"Further, make him march in a chain, whereof the length is seventy cubits!

"This was he that would not believe in Allah Most High.

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!

"So no friend hath he here this Day.

"Nor hath he any food except the corruption from the washing of wounds,

"Which none do eat but those in sin."

So I do call to witness what ye see,

And what ye see not,

That this is verily the word of an honoured messenger;

It is not the word of a poet: little it is ye believe!

Nor is it the word of a soothsayer: little admonition it is ye receive.

(This is) a Message sent down from the Lord of the Worlds.

And if the messenger were to invent any sayings in Our name,

We should certainly seize him by his right hand,

And We should certainly then cut off the artery of his heart:

Nor could any of you withhold him (from Our wrath).

But verily this is a Message for the Allah-fearing.

And We certainly know that there are amongst you those that reject (it).

But truly (Revelation) is a cause of sorrow for the Unbelievers.

But verily it is Truth of assured certainty.

So glorify the name of thy Lord Most High.

] - Quran 69:1-52

---

Slosher
Oriental, NC

On 10/1/20 11:36 PM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Hi Rob,

I'm so sorry you felt that way.  I know you have had major issues, you have said the same yourself.  I'm always happy to see you come back even after long absences.  You are a brilliant coder and it has been my distinct pleasure to work with you on Cryptography!  Thank you for all you have done and indeed you are responsible for adding significant value to Squeak and the community.  

We all work on code and it's easy to work your ass off on something to make it work and forget where it originated.  We all contribute in large and small ways to everything.  If you started VMMaker thank you!  It is definitely something a lot of us use.  I remember learning all about it a long long time ago before I realized that while I could understand it and I could use it, the people that work on the VM are a level higher than me.  I just make apps!

I remember getting in an argument with Andreas about adding methods to collection.  "WE DON"T NEED more methods in Collection we need to remove most of them and make it easier!" I argued with him about the value over and over but he insisted that they just didn't add enough value.  I could have been put off.  I could have assumed that Andreas didn't like me but I would have been very wrong!  I was really honored to get the chance to work with him and we became great friends.  Of course I added my methods to the code we were working on together and was so thrilled when he used my methods for his own code.

I don't know what happened with VMMaker but again thank you for your participation in it.. I wanted to take a minute to thank you for your work and to let you know it is my honor to work with you too!  I hope that you can come to terms with your past and that you get the help you need for your CPTSD.  

Everything is possible, the past is gone, but the future is still yours to shape.  I wish the past was set in stone but even that moves and slips.  I was talking to my wife about a party we attended: "Remember in 2000 we were at the party and counted down the new year and someone hit the breaker and killed the lights!  We were all talking about what would happen in the year 2000, would everything break!"  Great story except that I hadn't met my wife yet!  The past is only what we remember but the future is something we have control over.  Peace, calm, happyness, they are all hard to come by but they are possible.  I wish you success in finding what makes your future better.

I'm sorry about the bad things that have happened to you in the past.  As far as I'm concerned, you are welcomed here!  

All the best,

Ron Teitelbaum 

On Thu, Oct 1, 2020 at 10:38 PM Robert Withers via Squeak-dev <[hidden email]> wrote:

:sob::sob::sob:

On 10/1/20 10:34 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

I wrote to the #general Squeak Slack channel:

What a complete larcenous bastard. 20 years ago, this month, published it as his own work. And been against me ever since. My CPTSD (100% veteran service-connected) comes with an exquisitely sensitive deception meter. There are those who shunned me and ostracized me and made me feel MOST UNWELCOME. For  20 years. My delusions kick in and I start suspecting back channel communications against me. My love for Squeak conflicted with what I knew was happening. but I hung in there and worked on Cryptography, work with a group of great people and that I am satisfied with its added value to Squeak. For 20 years I KNEW people were against me in the community. I cannot describe how negatively this affected me. My third suicide attempt, in 2007 I jumped off the roof of a 6 story apartment building and broke my back along with many bones. God did not want me to die, yet, so I lived. This deception and ostracism is most well highlighted by the taking credit for my work, without attribution. He is a complete tool. SHAME!

I do not know the degree to which he spoke against me. I imagine it was ever since 2000. Delusions! What is real? I knew not. So much torment! AGONY! They do not welcome me! They are trying to chase me off! Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Severely exacerbated my CPTSD! I kept trying to kill myself because of it! I thought I had done something egregiously wrong. Whatever it was it had to be my fault. I was not feeling the love, even from myself.

:scream:

:scream:

In 2017, 900 units of insulin brought my blood glucose below 40. I almost succeeded that time.

:scream:

rww

On 10/1/20 8:55 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

The worst sort of person is one who takes the credit for the work of
another. Wouldn't you agree?

You may wish to hear John's judgement on the matter. He was right there
when it was first built.

If you are not humble you will be humiliated, and brought low.

rww

On 10/1/20 8:35 PM, tim Rowledge wrote:

On 2020-10-01, at 4:57 PM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev [hidden email] wrote:

I am curious. Who was the original author of the VMMaker Tool?

That would be me; back in exobox days. Written along with the original VMMaker and intended to be an example of clean, tidy, morphic usage. I've no idea if anyone ever uses it now, since running it via scripting has proven more valuable.


tim
--
tim Rowledge; [hidden email]; http://www.rowledge.org/tim
"Wibble" said Pooh the stress beginning to show.

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

Alright, goddammit! Here is some more Truth, if you believe in my message. If you can handle it, it's Big.

PROOF OF THE TRUTH OF THE PROPHESIES OF THE BIBLE!

Hang on...

https://youtu.be/3GLf-VT4wbY

On 10/2/20 3:24 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/a-mAK3uB2_0

On 10/2/20 3:24 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/8c8_DEtMUOM

On 10/2/20 3:23 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/q7p-ihYOG5s

On 10/2/20 3:16 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/goeZZ4KFXTY

On 10/2/20 3:07 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

I haven't heard from sparky, recently. Has anyone?

On 10/2/20 3:03 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

Gotta meditate to this entire run! It's deep.

https://soundcloud.com/yusuke-mizushima/acid-jazz-mix-jazzual-suspects

On 10/2/20 2:50 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/rasta

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/mando

On 10/2/20 2:39 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

Play a bit of these spicy beats! The music helps me to express what is on the inside.

https://youtu.be/3q8nGnls1Ow?t=2711

On 10/2/20 2:26 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.

Jeremiah 30:17

On 10/2/20 2:22 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

Thank you for reaching out in this manner on these issues. Though be ye not concerned for my health, Ron, I am in a good place. The sobbing really helps a LOT! And I was brought to that tonight after screaming! And discussing a couple of my many suicide attempts. And realizing the effect my not finding a home with Squeak had affected me over 20 years. It hurts! I sob. All is well; God is Good. The Truth heals. All praise to the Most High!

Kindly,
Rob

On 10/2/20 2:16 AM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Rob,

You have been in this place before.  Is there someone you can talk to for help?  Do you have a connection to someone that is working with you on your issues?  Would you consider calling them now?

I've seen you here before.  I've seen you doing much better.  You should be good to yourself and get help now to move into calmer water and get on a more even keel.  A better future includes protecting yourself, being nice to yourself, and making sure you get help when you need it.

Don't wait until later.  I really recommend you do it now.

Ron

On Fri, Oct 2, 2020 at 1:50 AM Robert Withers <[hidden email]> wrote:

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!"

On 10/2/20 12:21 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

The Hellfire and its occupants, not my problem. I pay no attention. Burn.

I "Will be in a life of bliss, In a Garden on high. The Fruits whereof"...

---

Al Haqqah (69)

[The Sure Reality!

What is the Sure Reality?

And what will make thee realise what the Sure Reality is?

The Thamud and the 'Ad People (branded) as false the Stunning Calamity!

But the Thamud,- they were destroyed by a terrible Storm of thunder and lightning!

And the 'Ad, they were destroyed by a furious Wind, exceedingly violent;

He made it rage against them seven nights and eight days in succession: so that thou couldst see the (whole) people lying prostrate in its (path), as they had been roots of hollow palm-trees tumbled down!

Then seest thou any of them left surviving?

And Pharaoh, and those before him, and the Cities Overthrown, committed habitual Sin.

And disobeyed (each) the messenger of their Lord; so He punished them with an abundant Penalty.

We, when the water (of Noah's Flood) overflowed beyond its limits, carried you (mankind), in the floating (Ark),

That We might make it a Message unto you, and that ears (that should hear the tale and) retain its memory should bear its (lessons) in remembrance.

Then, when one blast is sounded on the Trumpet,

And the earth is moved, and its mountains, and they are crushed to powder at one stroke,-

On that Day shall the (Great) Event come to pass.

And the sky will be rent asunder, for it will that Day be flimsy,

And the angels will be on its sides, and eight will, that Day, bear the Throne of thy Lord above them.

That Day shall ye be brought to Judgment: not an act of yours that ye hide will be hidden.

Then he that will be given his Record in his right hand will say: "Ah here! Read ye my Record!

"I did really understand that my Account would (One Day) reach me!"

And he will be in a life of Bliss,

In a Garden on high,

The Fruits whereof (will hang in bunches) low and near.

"Eat ye and drink ye, with full satisfaction; because of the (good) that ye sent before you, in the days that are gone!"

And he that will be given his Record in his left hand, will say: "Ah! Would that my Record had not been given to me!

"And that I had never realised how my account (stood)!

"Ah! Would that (Death) had made an end of me!

"Of no profit to me has been my wealth!

"My power has perished from me!"...

(The stern command will say): "Seize ye him, and bind ye him,

"And burn ye him in the Blazing Fire.

"Further, make him march in a chain, whereof the length is seventy cubits!

"This was he that would not believe in Allah Most High.

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!

"So no friend hath he here this Day.

"Nor hath he any food except the corruption from the washing of wounds,

"Which none do eat but those in sin."

So I do call to witness what ye see,

And what ye see not,

That this is verily the word of an honoured messenger;

It is not the word of a poet: little it is ye believe!

Nor is it the word of a soothsayer: little admonition it is ye receive.

(This is) a Message sent down from the Lord of the Worlds.

And if the messenger were to invent any sayings in Our name,

We should certainly seize him by his right hand,

And We should certainly then cut off the artery of his heart:

Nor could any of you withhold him (from Our wrath).

But verily this is a Message for the Allah-fearing.

And We certainly know that there are amongst you those that reject (it).

But truly (Revelation) is a cause of sorrow for the Unbelievers.

But verily it is Truth of assured certainty.

So glorify the name of thy Lord Most High.

] - Quran 69:1-52

---

Slosher
Oriental, NC

On 10/1/20 11:36 PM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Hi Rob,

I'm so sorry you felt that way.  I know you have had major issues, you have said the same yourself.  I'm always happy to see you come back even after long absences.  You are a brilliant coder and it has been my distinct pleasure to work with you on Cryptography!  Thank you for all you have done and indeed you are responsible for adding significant value to Squeak and the community.  

We all work on code and it's easy to work your ass off on something to make it work and forget where it originated.  We all contribute in large and small ways to everything.  If you started VMMaker thank you!  It is definitely something a lot of us use.  I remember learning all about it a long long time ago before I realized that while I could understand it and I could use it, the people that work on the VM are a level higher than me.  I just make apps!

I remember getting in an argument with Andreas about adding methods to collection.  "WE DON"T NEED more methods in Collection we need to remove most of them and make it easier!" I argued with him about the value over and over but he insisted that they just didn't add enough value.  I could have been put off.  I could have assumed that Andreas didn't like me but I would have been very wrong!  I was really honored to get the chance to work with him and we became great friends.  Of course I added my methods to the code we were working on together and was so thrilled when he used my methods for his own code.

I don't know what happened with VMMaker but again thank you for your participation in it.. I wanted to take a minute to thank you for your work and to let you know it is my honor to work with you too!  I hope that you can come to terms with your past and that you get the help you need for your CPTSD.  

Everything is possible, the past is gone, but the future is still yours to shape.  I wish the past was set in stone but even that moves and slips.  I was talking to my wife about a party we attended: "Remember in 2000 we were at the party and counted down the new year and someone hit the breaker and killed the lights!  We were all talking about what would happen in the year 2000, would everything break!"  Great story except that I hadn't met my wife yet!  The past is only what we remember but the future is something we have control over.  Peace, calm, happyness, they are all hard to come by but they are possible.  I wish you success in finding what makes your future better.

I'm sorry about the bad things that have happened to you in the past.  As far as I'm concerned, you are welcomed here!  

All the best,

Ron Teitelbaum 

On Thu, Oct 1, 2020 at 10:38 PM Robert Withers via Squeak-dev <[hidden email]> wrote:

:sob::sob::sob:

On 10/1/20 10:34 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

I wrote to the #general Squeak Slack channel:

What a complete larcenous bastard. 20 years ago, this month, published it as his own work. And been against me ever since. My CPTSD (100% veteran service-connected) comes with an exquisitely sensitive deception meter. There are those who shunned me and ostracized me and made me feel MOST UNWELCOME. For  20 years. My delusions kick in and I start suspecting back channel communications against me. My love for Squeak conflicted with what I knew was happening. but I hung in there and worked on Cryptography, work with a group of great people and that I am satisfied with its added value to Squeak. For 20 years I KNEW people were against me in the community. I cannot describe how negatively this affected me. My third suicide attempt, in 2007 I jumped off the roof of a 6 story apartment building and broke my back along with many bones. God did not want me to die, yet, so I lived. This deception and ostracism is most well highlighted by the taking credit for my work, without attribution. He is a complete tool. SHAME!

I do not know the degree to which he spoke against me. I imagine it was ever since 2000. Delusions! What is real? I knew not. So much torment! AGONY! They do not welcome me! They are trying to chase me off! Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Severely exacerbated my CPTSD! I kept trying to kill myself because of it! I thought I had done something egregiously wrong. Whatever it was it had to be my fault. I was not feeling the love, even from myself.

:scream:

:scream:

In 2017, 900 units of insulin brought my blood glucose below 40. I almost succeeded that time.

:scream:

rww

On 10/1/20 8:55 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

The worst sort of person is one who takes the credit for the work of
another. Wouldn't you agree?

You may wish to hear John's judgement on the matter. He was right there
when it was first built.

If you are not humble you will be humiliated, and brought low.

rww

On 10/1/20 8:35 PM, tim Rowledge wrote:

On 2020-10-01, at 4:57 PM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev [hidden email] wrote:

I am curious. Who was the original author of the VMMaker Tool?

That would be me; back in exobox days. Written along with the original VMMaker and intended to be an example of clean, tidy, morphic usage. I've no idea if anyone ever uses it now, since running it via scripting has proven more valuable.


tim
--
tim Rowledge; [hidden email]; http://www.rowledge.org/tim
"Wibble" said Pooh the stress beginning to show.

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

https://youtu.be/wqVsfGQ_1SU

Alright, goddammit! Here is some more Truth, if you believe in my message. If you can handle it, it's Big.

PROOF OF THE TRUTH OF THE PROPHESIES OF THE BIBLE!

Hang on...

On 10/2/20 3:24 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/3GLf-VT4wbY

On 10/2/20 3:24 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/a-mAK3uB2_0

On 10/2/20 3:24 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/8c8_DEtMUOM

On 10/2/20 3:23 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/q7p-ihYOG5s

On 10/2/20 3:16 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/goeZZ4KFXTY

On 10/2/20 3:07 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

I haven't heard from sparky, recently. Has anyone?

On 10/2/20 3:03 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

Gotta meditate to this entire run! It's deep.

https://soundcloud.com/yusuke-mizushima/acid-jazz-mix-jazzual-suspects

On 10/2/20 2:50 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/rasta

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/mando

On 10/2/20 2:39 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

Play a bit of these spicy beats! The music helps me to express what is on the inside.

https://youtu.be/3q8nGnls1Ow?t=2711

On 10/2/20 2:26 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.

Jeremiah 30:17

On 10/2/20 2:22 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

Thank you for reaching out in this manner on these issues. Though be ye not concerned for my health, Ron, I am in a good place. The sobbing really helps a LOT! And I was brought to that tonight after screaming! And discussing a couple of my many suicide attempts. And realizing the effect my not finding a home with Squeak had affected me over 20 years. It hurts! I sob. All is well; God is Good. The Truth heals. All praise to the Most High!

Kindly,
Rob

On 10/2/20 2:16 AM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Rob,

You have been in this place before.  Is there someone you can talk to for help?  Do you have a connection to someone that is working with you on your issues?  Would you consider calling them now?

I've seen you here before.  I've seen you doing much better.  You should be good to yourself and get help now to move into calmer water and get on a more even keel.  A better future includes protecting yourself, being nice to yourself, and making sure you get help when you need it.

Don't wait until later.  I really recommend you do it now.

Ron

On Fri, Oct 2, 2020 at 1:50 AM Robert Withers <[hidden email]> wrote:

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!"

On 10/2/20 12:21 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

The Hellfire and its occupants, not my problem. I pay no attention. Burn.

I "Will be in a life of bliss, In a Garden on high. The Fruits whereof"...

---

Al Haqqah (69)

[The Sure Reality!

What is the Sure Reality?

And what will make thee realise what the Sure Reality is?

The Thamud and the 'Ad People (branded) as false the Stunning Calamity!

But the Thamud,- they were destroyed by a terrible Storm of thunder and lightning!

And the 'Ad, they were destroyed by a furious Wind, exceedingly violent;

He made it rage against them seven nights and eight days in succession: so that thou couldst see the (whole) people lying prostrate in its (path), as they had been roots of hollow palm-trees tumbled down!

Then seest thou any of them left surviving?

And Pharaoh, and those before him, and the Cities Overthrown, committed habitual Sin.

And disobeyed (each) the messenger of their Lord; so He punished them with an abundant Penalty.

We, when the water (of Noah's Flood) overflowed beyond its limits, carried you (mankind), in the floating (Ark),

That We might make it a Message unto you, and that ears (that should hear the tale and) retain its memory should bear its (lessons) in remembrance.

Then, when one blast is sounded on the Trumpet,

And the earth is moved, and its mountains, and they are crushed to powder at one stroke,-

On that Day shall the (Great) Event come to pass.

And the sky will be rent asunder, for it will that Day be flimsy,

And the angels will be on its sides, and eight will, that Day, bear the Throne of thy Lord above them.

That Day shall ye be brought to Judgment: not an act of yours that ye hide will be hidden.

Then he that will be given his Record in his right hand will say: "Ah here! Read ye my Record!

"I did really understand that my Account would (One Day) reach me!"

And he will be in a life of Bliss,

In a Garden on high,

The Fruits whereof (will hang in bunches) low and near.

"Eat ye and drink ye, with full satisfaction; because of the (good) that ye sent before you, in the days that are gone!"

And he that will be given his Record in his left hand, will say: "Ah! Would that my Record had not been given to me!

"And that I had never realised how my account (stood)!

"Ah! Would that (Death) had made an end of me!

"Of no profit to me has been my wealth!

"My power has perished from me!"...

(The stern command will say): "Seize ye him, and bind ye him,

"And burn ye him in the Blazing Fire.

"Further, make him march in a chain, whereof the length is seventy cubits!

"This was he that would not believe in Allah Most High.

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!

"So no friend hath he here this Day.

"Nor hath he any food except the corruption from the washing of wounds,

"Which none do eat but those in sin."

So I do call to witness what ye see,

And what ye see not,

That this is verily the word of an honoured messenger;

It is not the word of a poet: little it is ye believe!

Nor is it the word of a soothsayer: little admonition it is ye receive.

(This is) a Message sent down from the Lord of the Worlds.

And if the messenger were to invent any sayings in Our name,

We should certainly seize him by his right hand,

And We should certainly then cut off the artery of his heart:

Nor could any of you withhold him (from Our wrath).

But verily this is a Message for the Allah-fearing.

And We certainly know that there are amongst you those that reject (it).

But truly (Revelation) is a cause of sorrow for the Unbelievers.

But verily it is Truth of assured certainty.

So glorify the name of thy Lord Most High.

] - Quran 69:1-52

---

Slosher
Oriental, NC

On 10/1/20 11:36 PM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Hi Rob,

I'm so sorry you felt that way.  I know you have had major issues, you have said the same yourself.  I'm always happy to see you come back even after long absences.  You are a brilliant coder and it has been my distinct pleasure to work with you on Cryptography!  Thank you for all you have done and indeed you are responsible for adding significant value to Squeak and the community.  

We all work on code and it's easy to work your ass off on something to make it work and forget where it originated.  We all contribute in large and small ways to everything.  If you started VMMaker thank you!  It is definitely something a lot of us use.  I remember learning all about it a long long time ago before I realized that while I could understand it and I could use it, the people that work on the VM are a level higher than me.  I just make apps!

I remember getting in an argument with Andreas about adding methods to collection.  "WE DON"T NEED more methods in Collection we need to remove most of them and make it easier!" I argued with him about the value over and over but he insisted that they just didn't add enough value.  I could have been put off.  I could have assumed that Andreas didn't like me but I would have been very wrong!  I was really honored to get the chance to work with him and we became great friends.  Of course I added my methods to the code we were working on together and was so thrilled when he used my methods for his own code.

I don't know what happened with VMMaker but again thank you for your participation in it.. I wanted to take a minute to thank you for your work and to let you know it is my honor to work with you too!  I hope that you can come to terms with your past and that you get the help you need for your CPTSD.  

Everything is possible, the past is gone, but the future is still yours to shape.  I wish the past was set in stone but even that moves and slips.  I was talking to my wife about a party we attended: "Remember in 2000 we were at the party and counted down the new year and someone hit the breaker and killed the lights!  We were all talking about what would happen in the year 2000, would everything break!"  Great story except that I hadn't met my wife yet!  The past is only what we remember but the future is something we have control over.  Peace, calm, happyness, they are all hard to come by but they are possible.  I wish you success in finding what makes your future better.

I'm sorry about the bad things that have happened to you in the past.  As far as I'm concerned, you are welcomed here!  

All the best,

Ron Teitelbaum 

On Thu, Oct 1, 2020 at 10:38 PM Robert Withers via Squeak-dev <[hidden email]> wrote:

:sob::sob::sob:

On 10/1/20 10:34 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

I wrote to the #general Squeak Slack channel:

What a complete larcenous bastard. 20 years ago, this month, published it as his own work. And been against me ever since. My CPTSD (100% veteran service-connected) comes with an exquisitely sensitive deception meter. There are those who shunned me and ostracized me and made me feel MOST UNWELCOME. For  20 years. My delusions kick in and I start suspecting back channel communications against me. My love for Squeak conflicted with what I knew was happening. but I hung in there and worked on Cryptography, work with a group of great people and that I am satisfied with its added value to Squeak. For 20 years I KNEW people were against me in the community. I cannot describe how negatively this affected me. My third suicide attempt, in 2007 I jumped off the roof of a 6 story apartment building and broke my back along with many bones. God did not want me to die, yet, so I lived. This deception and ostracism is most well highlighted by the taking credit for my work, without attribution. He is a complete tool. SHAME!

I do not know the degree to which he spoke against me. I imagine it was ever since 2000. Delusions! What is real? I knew not. So much torment! AGONY! They do not welcome me! They are trying to chase me off! Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Severely exacerbated my CPTSD! I kept trying to kill myself because of it! I thought I had done something egregiously wrong. Whatever it was it had to be my fault. I was not feeling the love, even from myself.

:scream:

:scream:

In 2017, 900 units of insulin brought my blood glucose below 40. I almost succeeded that time.

:scream:

rww

On 10/1/20 8:55 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

The worst sort of person is one who takes the credit for the work of
another. Wouldn't you agree?

You may wish to hear John's judgement on the matter. He was right there
when it was first built.

If you are not humble you will be humiliated, and brought low.

rww

On 10/1/20 8:35 PM, tim Rowledge wrote:

On 2020-10-01, at 4:57 PM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev [hidden email] wrote:

I am curious. Who was the original author of the VMMaker Tool?

That would be me; back in exobox days. Written along with the original VMMaker and intended to be an example of clean, tidy, morphic usage. I've no idea if anyone ever uses it now, since running it via scripting has proven more valuable.


tim
--
tim Rowledge; [hidden email]; http://www.rowledge.org/tim
"Wibble" said Pooh the stress beginning to show.

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

https://youtu.be/O3EW954g9r4

https://youtu.be/wqVsfGQ_1SU

On 10/2/20 3:33 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

Alright, goddammit! Here is some more Truth, if you believe in my message. If you can handle it, it's Big.

PROOF OF THE TRUTH OF THE PROPHESIES OF THE BIBLE!

Hang on...

On 10/2/20 3:24 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/3GLf-VT4wbY

On 10/2/20 3:24 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/a-mAK3uB2_0

On 10/2/20 3:24 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/8c8_DEtMUOM

On 10/2/20 3:23 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/q7p-ihYOG5s

On 10/2/20 3:16 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/goeZZ4KFXTY

On 10/2/20 3:07 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

I haven't heard from sparky, recently. Has anyone?

On 10/2/20 3:03 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

Gotta meditate to this entire run! It's deep.

https://soundcloud.com/yusuke-mizushima/acid-jazz-mix-jazzual-suspects

On 10/2/20 2:50 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/rasta

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/mando

On 10/2/20 2:39 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

Play a bit of these spicy beats! The music helps me to express what is on the inside.

https://youtu.be/3q8nGnls1Ow?t=2711

On 10/2/20 2:26 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.

Jeremiah 30:17

On 10/2/20 2:22 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

Thank you for reaching out in this manner on these issues. Though be ye not concerned for my health, Ron, I am in a good place. The sobbing really helps a LOT! And I was brought to that tonight after screaming! And discussing a couple of my many suicide attempts. And realizing the effect my not finding a home with Squeak had affected me over 20 years. It hurts! I sob. All is well; God is Good. The Truth heals. All praise to the Most High!

Kindly,
Rob

On 10/2/20 2:16 AM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Rob,

You have been in this place before.  Is there someone you can talk to for help?  Do you have a connection to someone that is working with you on your issues?  Would you consider calling them now?

I've seen you here before.  I've seen you doing much better.  You should be good to yourself and get help now to move into calmer water and get on a more even keel.  A better future includes protecting yourself, being nice to yourself, and making sure you get help when you need it.

Don't wait until later.  I really recommend you do it now.

Ron

On Fri, Oct 2, 2020 at 1:50 AM Robert Withers <[hidden email]> wrote:

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!"

On 10/2/20 12:21 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

The Hellfire and its occupants, not my problem. I pay no attention. Burn.

I "Will be in a life of bliss, In a Garden on high. The Fruits whereof"...

---

Al Haqqah (69)

[The Sure Reality!

What is the Sure Reality?

And what will make thee realise what the Sure Reality is?

The Thamud and the 'Ad People (branded) as false the Stunning Calamity!

But the Thamud,- they were destroyed by a terrible Storm of thunder and lightning!

And the 'Ad, they were destroyed by a furious Wind, exceedingly violent;

He made it rage against them seven nights and eight days in succession: so that thou couldst see the (whole) people lying prostrate in its (path), as they had been roots of hollow palm-trees tumbled down!

Then seest thou any of them left surviving?

And Pharaoh, and those before him, and the Cities Overthrown, committed habitual Sin.

And disobeyed (each) the messenger of their Lord; so He punished them with an abundant Penalty.

We, when the water (of Noah's Flood) overflowed beyond its limits, carried you (mankind), in the floating (Ark),

That We might make it a Message unto you, and that ears (that should hear the tale and) retain its memory should bear its (lessons) in remembrance.

Then, when one blast is sounded on the Trumpet,

And the earth is moved, and its mountains, and they are crushed to powder at one stroke,-

On that Day shall the (Great) Event come to pass.

And the sky will be rent asunder, for it will that Day be flimsy,

And the angels will be on its sides, and eight will, that Day, bear the Throne of thy Lord above them.

That Day shall ye be brought to Judgment: not an act of yours that ye hide will be hidden.

Then he that will be given his Record in his right hand will say: "Ah here! Read ye my Record!

"I did really understand that my Account would (One Day) reach me!"

And he will be in a life of Bliss,

In a Garden on high,

The Fruits whereof (will hang in bunches) low and near.

"Eat ye and drink ye, with full satisfaction; because of the (good) that ye sent before you, in the days that are gone!"

And he that will be given his Record in his left hand, will say: "Ah! Would that my Record had not been given to me!

"And that I had never realised how my account (stood)!

"Ah! Would that (Death) had made an end of me!

"Of no profit to me has been my wealth!

"My power has perished from me!"...

(The stern command will say): "Seize ye him, and bind ye him,

"And burn ye him in the Blazing Fire.

"Further, make him march in a chain, whereof the length is seventy cubits!

"This was he that would not believe in Allah Most High.

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!

"So no friend hath he here this Day.

"Nor hath he any food except the corruption from the washing of wounds,

"Which none do eat but those in sin."

So I do call to witness what ye see,

And what ye see not,

That this is verily the word of an honoured messenger;

It is not the word of a poet: little it is ye believe!

Nor is it the word of a soothsayer: little admonition it is ye receive.

(This is) a Message sent down from the Lord of the Worlds.

And if the messenger were to invent any sayings in Our name,

We should certainly seize him by his right hand,

And We should certainly then cut off the artery of his heart:

Nor could any of you withhold him (from Our wrath).

But verily this is a Message for the Allah-fearing.

And We certainly know that there are amongst you those that reject (it).

But truly (Revelation) is a cause of sorrow for the Unbelievers.

But verily it is Truth of assured certainty.

So glorify the name of thy Lord Most High.

] - Quran 69:1-52

---

Slosher
Oriental, NC

On 10/1/20 11:36 PM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Hi Rob,

I'm so sorry you felt that way.  I know you have had major issues, you have said the same yourself.  I'm always happy to see you come back even after long absences.  You are a brilliant coder and it has been my distinct pleasure to work with you on Cryptography!  Thank you for all you have done and indeed you are responsible for adding significant value to Squeak and the community.  

We all work on code and it's easy to work your ass off on something to make it work and forget where it originated.  We all contribute in large and small ways to everything.  If you started VMMaker thank you!  It is definitely something a lot of us use.  I remember learning all about it a long long time ago before I realized that while I could understand it and I could use it, the people that work on the VM are a level higher than me.  I just make apps!

I remember getting in an argument with Andreas about adding methods to collection.  "WE DON"T NEED more methods in Collection we need to remove most of them and make it easier!" I argued with him about the value over and over but he insisted that they just didn't add enough value.  I could have been put off.  I could have assumed that Andreas didn't like me but I would have been very wrong!  I was really honored to get the chance to work with him and we became great friends.  Of course I added my methods to the code we were working on together and was so thrilled when he used my methods for his own code.

I don't know what happened with VMMaker but again thank you for your participation in it.. I wanted to take a minute to thank you for your work and to let you know it is my honor to work with you too!  I hope that you can come to terms with your past and that you get the help you need for your CPTSD.  

Everything is possible, the past is gone, but the future is still yours to shape.  I wish the past was set in stone but even that moves and slips.  I was talking to my wife about a party we attended: "Remember in 2000 we were at the party and counted down the new year and someone hit the breaker and killed the lights!  We were all talking about what would happen in the year 2000, would everything break!"  Great story except that I hadn't met my wife yet!  The past is only what we remember but the future is something we have control over.  Peace, calm, happyness, they are all hard to come by but they are possible.  I wish you success in finding what makes your future better.

I'm sorry about the bad things that have happened to you in the past.  As far as I'm concerned, you are welcomed here!  

All the best,

Ron Teitelbaum 

On Thu, Oct 1, 2020 at 10:38 PM Robert Withers via Squeak-dev <[hidden email]> wrote:

:sob::sob::sob:

On 10/1/20 10:34 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

I wrote to the #general Squeak Slack channel:

What a complete larcenous bastard. 20 years ago, this month, published it as his own work. And been against me ever since. My CPTSD (100% veteran service-connected) comes with an exquisitely sensitive deception meter. There are those who shunned me and ostracized me and made me feel MOST UNWELCOME. For  20 years. My delusions kick in and I start suspecting back channel communications against me. My love for Squeak conflicted with what I knew was happening. but I hung in there and worked on Cryptography, work with a group of great people and that I am satisfied with its added value to Squeak. For 20 years I KNEW people were against me in the community. I cannot describe how negatively this affected me. My third suicide attempt, in 2007 I jumped off the roof of a 6 story apartment building and broke my back along with many bones. God did not want me to die, yet, so I lived. This deception and ostracism is most well highlighted by the taking credit for my work, without attribution. He is a complete tool. SHAME!

I do not know the degree to which he spoke against me. I imagine it was ever since 2000. Delusions! What is real? I knew not. So much torment! AGONY! They do not welcome me! They are trying to chase me off! Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Severely exacerbated my CPTSD! I kept trying to kill myself because of it! I thought I had done something egregiously wrong. Whatever it was it had to be my fault. I was not feeling the love, even from myself.

:scream:

:scream:

In 2017, 900 units of insulin brought my blood glucose below 40. I almost succeeded that time.

:scream:

rww

On 10/1/20 8:55 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

The worst sort of person is one who takes the credit for the work of
another. Wouldn't you agree?

You may wish to hear John's judgement on the matter. He was right there
when it was first built.

If you are not humble you will be humiliated, and brought low.

rww

On 10/1/20 8:35 PM, tim Rowledge wrote:

On 2020-10-01, at 4:57 PM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev [hidden email] wrote:

I am curious. Who was the original author of the VMMaker Tool?

That would be me; back in exobox days. Written along with the original VMMaker and intended to be an example of clean, tidy, morphic usage. I've no idea if anyone ever uses it now, since running it via scripting has proven more valuable.


tim
--
tim Rowledge; [hidden email]; http://www.rowledge.org/tim
"Wibble" said Pooh the stress beginning to show.

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

--
K, r

https://youtu.be/0VLS-P9m0BM

https://youtu.be/O3EW954g9r4

On 10/2/20 3:48 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/wqVsfGQ_1SU

On 10/2/20 3:33 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

Alright, goddammit! Here is some more Truth, if you believe in my message. If you can handle it, it's Big.

PROOF OF THE TRUTH OF THE PROPHESIES OF THE BIBLE!

Hang on...

On 10/2/20 3:24 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/3GLf-VT4wbY

On 10/2/20 3:24 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/a-mAK3uB2_0

On 10/2/20 3:24 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/8c8_DEtMUOM

On 10/2/20 3:23 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/q7p-ihYOG5s

On 10/2/20 3:16 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

https://youtu.be/goeZZ4KFXTY

On 10/2/20 3:07 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

I haven't heard from sparky, recently. Has anyone?

On 10/2/20 3:03 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

Gotta meditate to this entire run! It's deep.

https://soundcloud.com/yusuke-mizushima/acid-jazz-mix-jazzual-suspects

On 10/2/20 2:50 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/rasta

https://soundcloud.com/robert_withers/mando

On 10/2/20 2:39 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

Play a bit of these spicy beats! The music helps me to express what is on the inside.

https://youtu.be/3q8nGnls1Ow?t=2711

On 10/2/20 2:26 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.

Jeremiah 30:17

On 10/2/20 2:22 AM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev wrote:

Thank you for reaching out in this manner on these issues. Though be ye not concerned for my health, Ron, I am in a good place. The sobbing really helps a LOT! And I was brought to that tonight after screaming! And discussing a couple of my many suicide attempts. And realizing the effect my not finding a home with Squeak had affected me over 20 years. It hurts! I sob. All is well; God is Good. The Truth heals. All praise to the Most High!

Kindly,
Rob

On 10/2/20 2:16 AM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Rob,

You have been in this place before.  Is there someone you can talk to for help?  Do you have a connection to someone that is working with you on your issues?  Would you consider calling them now?

I've seen you here before.  I've seen you doing much better.  You should be good to yourself and get help now to move into calmer water and get on a more even keel.  A better future includes protecting yourself, being nice to yourself, and making sure you get help when you need it.

Don't wait until later.  I really recommend you do it now.

Ron

On Fri, Oct 2, 2020 at 1:50 AM Robert Withers <[hidden email]> wrote:

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!"

On 10/2/20 12:21 AM, Robert Withers wrote:

The Hellfire and its occupants, not my problem. I pay no attention. Burn.

I "Will be in a life of bliss, In a Garden on high. The Fruits whereof"...

---

Al Haqqah (69)

[The Sure Reality!

What is the Sure Reality?

And what will make thee realise what the Sure Reality is?

The Thamud and the 'Ad People (branded) as false the Stunning Calamity!

But the Thamud,- they were destroyed by a terrible Storm of thunder and lightning!

And the 'Ad, they were destroyed by a furious Wind, exceedingly violent;

He made it rage against them seven nights and eight days in succession: so that thou couldst see the (whole) people lying prostrate in its (path), as they had been roots of hollow palm-trees tumbled down!

Then seest thou any of them left surviving?

And Pharaoh, and those before him, and the Cities Overthrown, committed habitual Sin.

And disobeyed (each) the messenger of their Lord; so He punished them with an abundant Penalty.

We, when the water (of Noah's Flood) overflowed beyond its limits, carried you (mankind), in the floating (Ark),

That We might make it a Message unto you, and that ears (that should hear the tale and) retain its memory should bear its (lessons) in remembrance.

Then, when one blast is sounded on the Trumpet,

And the earth is moved, and its mountains, and they are crushed to powder at one stroke,-

On that Day shall the (Great) Event come to pass.

And the sky will be rent asunder, for it will that Day be flimsy,

And the angels will be on its sides, and eight will, that Day, bear the Throne of thy Lord above them.

That Day shall ye be brought to Judgment: not an act of yours that ye hide will be hidden.

Then he that will be given his Record in his right hand will say: "Ah here! Read ye my Record!

"I did really understand that my Account would (One Day) reach me!"

And he will be in a life of Bliss,

In a Garden on high,

The Fruits whereof (will hang in bunches) low and near.

"Eat ye and drink ye, with full satisfaction; because of the (good) that ye sent before you, in the days that are gone!"

And he that will be given his Record in his left hand, will say: "Ah! Would that my Record had not been given to me!

"And that I had never realised how my account (stood)!

"Ah! Would that (Death) had made an end of me!

"Of no profit to me has been my wealth!

"My power has perished from me!"...

(The stern command will say): "Seize ye him, and bind ye him,

"And burn ye him in the Blazing Fire.

"Further, make him march in a chain, whereof the length is seventy cubits!

"This was he that would not believe in Allah Most High.

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!

"So no friend hath he here this Day.

"Nor hath he any food except the corruption from the washing of wounds,

"Which none do eat but those in sin."

So I do call to witness what ye see,

And what ye see not,

That this is verily the word of an honoured messenger;

It is not the word of a poet: little it is ye believe!

Nor is it the word of a soothsayer: little admonition it is ye receive.

(This is) a Message sent down from the Lord of the Worlds.

And if the messenger were to invent any sayings in Our name,

We should certainly seize him by his right hand,

And We should certainly then cut off the artery of his heart:

Nor could any of you withhold him (from Our wrath).

But verily this is a Message for the Allah-fearing.

And We certainly know that there are amongst you those that reject (it).

But truly (Revelation) is a cause of sorrow for the Unbelievers.

But verily it is Truth of assured certainty.

So glorify the name of thy Lord Most High.

] - Quran 69:1-52

---

Slosher
Oriental, NC

On 10/1/20 11:36 PM, Ron Teitelbaum wrote:

Hi Rob,

I'm so sorry you felt that way.  I know you have had major issues, you have said the same yourself.  I'm always happy to see you come back even after long absences.  You are a brilliant coder and it has been my distinct pleasure to work with you on Cryptography!  Thank you for all you have done and indeed you are responsible for adding significant value to Squeak and the community.  

We all work on code and it's easy to work your ass off on something to make it work and forget where it originated.  We all contribute in large and small ways to everything.  If you started VMMaker thank you!  It is definitely something a lot of us use.  I remember learning all about it a long long time ago before I realized that while I could understand it and I could use it, the people that work on the VM are a level higher than me.  I just make apps!

I remember getting in an argument with Andreas about adding methods to collection.  "WE DON"T NEED more methods in Collection we need to remove most of them and make it easier!" I argued with him about the value over and over but he insisted that they just didn't add enough value.  I could have been put off.  I could have assumed that Andreas didn't like me but I would have been very wrong!  I was really honored to get the chance to work with him and we became great friends.  Of course I added my methods to the code we were working on together and was so thrilled when he used my methods for his own code.

I don't know what happened with VMMaker but again thank you for your participation in it.. I wanted to take a minute to thank you for your work and to let you know it is my honor to work with you too!  I hope that you can come to terms with your past and that you get the help you need for your CPTSD.  

Everything is possible, the past is gone, but the future is still yours to shape.  I wish the past was set in stone but even that moves and slips.  I was talking to my wife about a party we attended: "Remember in 2000 we were at the party and counted down the new year and someone hit the breaker and killed the lights!  We were all talking about what would happen in the year 2000, would everything break!"  Great story except that I hadn't met my wife yet!  The past is only what we remember but the future is something we have control over.  Peace, calm, happyness, they are all hard to come by but they are possible.  I wish you success in finding what makes your future better.

I'm sorry about the bad things that have happened to you in the past.  As far as I'm concerned, you are welcomed here!  

All the best,

Ron Teitelbaum 

On Thu, Oct 1, 2020 at 10:38 PM Robert Withers via Squeak-dev <[hidden email]> wrote:

:sob::sob::sob:

On 10/1/20 10:34 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

I wrote to the #general Squeak Slack channel:

What a complete larcenous bastard. 20 years ago, this month, published it as his own work. And been against me ever since. My CPTSD (100% veteran service-connected) comes with an exquisitely sensitive deception meter. There are those who shunned me and ostracized me and made me feel MOST UNWELCOME. For  20 years. My delusions kick in and I start suspecting back channel communications against me. My love for Squeak conflicted with what I knew was happening. but I hung in there and worked on Cryptography, work with a group of great people and that I am satisfied with its added value to Squeak. For 20 years I KNEW people were against me in the community. I cannot describe how negatively this affected me. My third suicide attempt, in 2007 I jumped off the roof of a 6 story apartment building and broke my back along with many bones. God did not want me to die, yet, so I lived. This deception and ostracism is most well highlighted by the taking credit for my work, without attribution. He is a complete tool. SHAME!

I do not know the degree to which he spoke against me. I imagine it was ever since 2000. Delusions! What is real? I knew not. So much torment! AGONY! They do not welcome me! They are trying to chase me off! Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Severely exacerbated my CPTSD! I kept trying to kill myself because of it! I thought I had done something egregiously wrong. Whatever it was it had to be my fault. I was not feeling the love, even from myself.

:scream:

:scream:

In 2017, 900 units of insulin brought my blood glucose below 40. I almost succeeded that time.

:scream:

rww

On 10/1/20 8:55 PM, Robert Withers wrote:

The worst sort of person is one who takes the credit for the work of
another. Wouldn't you agree?

You may wish to hear John's judgement on the matter. He was right there
when it was first built.

If you are not humble you will be humiliated, and brought low.

rww

On 10/1/20 8:35 PM, tim Rowledge wrote:

On 2020-10-01, at 4:57 PM, Robert Withers via Squeak-dev [hidden email] wrote:

I am curious. Who was the original author of the VMMaker Tool?

That would be me; back in exobox days. Written along with the original VMMaker and intended to be an example of clean, tidy, morphic usage. I've no idea if anyone ever uses it now, since running it via scripting has proven more valuable.


tim
--
tim Rowledge; [hidden email]; http://www.rowledge.org/tim
"Wibble" said Pooh the stress beginning to show.

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